Things are going....
But anyway, I saw Shutter Island and I LOVE IT. :) It's exactly what my kind of movie is.
When I got home we jumped my car and took it to Advanced Auto and found out that I need to be driving my car at least 7 miles a day to keep the battery charged. I drive it maybe a mile a day TOTAL. Not quite that even. I'll have to go out of my way to do this.
When I got back home I decided to clean out all the junk in our closet. It's all my junk. I started will 13 boxes. 4 are going to salvation army, 4 are being kept, 3 are going into my closet and 2 got thrown out. A lot of what I kept were clothes that I thought I had lost. Most of my Salvation Army stuff if clothing that never fit, and shoes that are worn out a bit, but still nice enough. I kept my old shoes clean. I even managed to get rid of SOME stuff with sentimental value. To me, almost everything has the value, but I'm working on it. I know I won't sit and cry with regret for EVERY SINGLE piece of paper I had in high school.
Then, I stepped on a piece of glass in the closet. Luckily It was sticking out a lot (I didn't step on it after the initial contact) so I pulled it right out. Shitty though. Finally I put my 4 boxes back into the closet and threw away the junk and decided to go through the orange backpack I brought in from my car (yeah, I finally got the boxed out of my car :D) and in the very last pocket I looked in sat MY FUCKING SEWING MACHINE PEDAL!!!!! The one I've been so upset about loosing :D
I'm ecstatic. Literally giddy. I'm driving out to my parents house tomorrow to get my sewing stuff. I hope I get around to making something.
:D
:D :D :D :D :3 xD
XoXo
S
February 28, 2010
February 24, 2010
art struggle
I did a very megoboom-esque drawing with sharpies. This is not it. Due to rules lined out by the stock that I used I can't post it anywhere but dA. This one kinda sucks (well, the other one kinda sucked too) but I'm still not totally in hate with it so I think that implies progress in technique. I think it'd ALL be better if Sharpies came in different shades, not just different colors.
the OTHER drawing= Acid Scraps
XoXo
S
Blogger at Heart
As a result of my late night wide-awake-you-fsm-damned-highly-caffeinated-Excedrin-migraine-pills I've created a new blog My Dying Wish (Color-Me-Stunned) to showcase my love of hair dye.
I'll be getting the layout finished up before too long. maybe tonight if I find the perfect picture. I'm so not tired. But I need to sleep and may force it.
Enjoy. This should be a VERY picture happy and to-the-point blog, for those who find my endless rambling about life, unhappiness and migraines to be a bit drawn out and boring.
XoXo
S
I'll be getting the layout finished up before too long. maybe tonight if I find the perfect picture. I'm so not tired. But I need to sleep and may force it.
Enjoy. This should be a VERY picture happy and to-the-point blog, for those who find my endless rambling about life, unhappiness and migraines to be a bit drawn out and boring.
XoXo
S
my Devo color is green. Who would have thought.
I went to bed at 10:30 because I had a really bad migraine, I took some Excedrin but didn't feel like staying awake til it kicked in. Woke up, feeling refreshed, and then I realized it wasn't QUITE tomorrow yet. Fuuuuuck.
Picture of new shayla's hair. I dyed it kind funny (not sure if I like HOW, but I love the color) so it looks different depending on how i part my hair. Should have left more blond in the middle. Or added pink, or purple. I may actually add blue red and (manic panics only semi-permanent) black to FULLY match my chest piece tattoo. This is the EXACT green of the ink they used. :)
during the dye processes. About to rinse. Clearly two chunks of Manic Panic Green Envy to the sides of the blond in the middle.
RIGHT after my hair dried. Dyed my little side fingey thing.
Parted the blond to one side
Other side, hair parted same as before. Notice jumper cables in the background. :) because my car battery has died twice this winter.
Samezies as before picture.
Parted all the way to the side. I took this just now, just for this post. Feeeeel special.
I'm bored and not tired and need to be going to bed but just slept for 3 hours.
XoXo
S
Picture of new shayla's hair. I dyed it kind funny (not sure if I like HOW, but I love the color) so it looks different depending on how i part my hair. Should have left more blond in the middle. Or added pink, or purple. I may actually add blue red and (manic panics only semi-permanent) black to FULLY match my chest piece tattoo. This is the EXACT green of the ink they used. :)
during the dye processes. About to rinse. Clearly two chunks of Manic Panic Green Envy to the sides of the blond in the middle.
RIGHT after my hair dried. Dyed my little side fingey thing.
Parted the blond to one side
Other side, hair parted same as before. Notice jumper cables in the background. :) because my car battery has died twice this winter.
Samezies as before picture.
Parted all the way to the side. I took this just now, just for this post. Feeeeel special.I'm bored and not tired and need to be going to bed but just slept for 3 hours.
XoXo
S
February 21, 2010
Blah Blah
So, to get a business name and such started, I must speak with a lawyer. To have money for a lawyer and business license and copyrighting my name and starting up I will need a loan. To get a loan of that size I will need credit.
To build credit I will get a Khol's credit card next weekend, buy a hundred or so dollars worth of stuff, and make payments (and hopefully not over use the card and therefor build good credit.)
My tarot card today was something along the lines of figuring out my goals and going through with them. :) ya y.
XoXo
S
To build credit I will get a Khol's credit card next weekend, buy a hundred or so dollars worth of stuff, and make payments (and hopefully not over use the card and therefor build good credit.)
My tarot card today was something along the lines of figuring out my goals and going through with them. :) ya y.
XoXo
S
February 20, 2010
pain
I'm getting probably 4 books today, because I finally finished Blue Moon. I want The Laughing Corpse, since I never got that particular one in the Anita Blake series. Next up is Osidian Butterfly, Narcissus in Chains and Cerulean Sins. Hopefully they have all of those, because if not I'm screwed.
My cramps are coming back. Of course, it has to be one of THOSE periods that interferes with your life. First with horrible cramps on the first day. I spent the day in bed because I didn't have a decent painkiller. Now their back, on the one day of the week that I actually go out and do shit. Hopefully my Naproxin works when I'm having REAL cramps. I got my last heat wrap at least.
Anyway. Hopefully I have time to get my books and stuff because I have to return the steam vac thing that Jacob rented to clean up the pukey mess from his party Thursday night. There's still a big hole in the wall though. uuugh. This is why I don't drink. At least the apartment no longer smells like alcohol and vomit. It was horrible.
XoXo
S
My cramps are coming back. Of course, it has to be one of THOSE periods that interferes with your life. First with horrible cramps on the first day. I spent the day in bed because I didn't have a decent painkiller. Now their back, on the one day of the week that I actually go out and do shit. Hopefully my Naproxin works when I'm having REAL cramps. I got my last heat wrap at least.
Anyway. Hopefully I have time to get my books and stuff because I have to return the steam vac thing that Jacob rented to clean up the pukey mess from his party Thursday night. There's still a big hole in the wall though. uuugh. This is why I don't drink. At least the apartment no longer smells like alcohol and vomit. It was horrible.
XoXo
S
February 18, 2010
Twins, discrimination, migraines and my hair.
The Evelyn and Evelyn debate still continues. I still don't get it. I still fail to see the discrimination in having a fictional character that is "disabled" with a sad story. Or, looking light heartedly at the bad things that can happen to you in life.
I put the little quotes around disabled because I think it's a very very strong word for someone who is fully functional but happens to be conjoined to their twin. A little abnormal, sure. But they function quite well. To me, a disabled person is someone whose life is hindered by their physical or mental challenges. Whatever. I know it's not the "real" definition.
And, to quote Amanda when Oasis hit a rough spot with a lot of people. "When you can no longer laugh at the darkness in life, that's when the darkness takes over."
It's just as true with this as it was with Oasis. Why was Oasis okay simply because it involved things Amanda has gone through? Life experience isn't everything. You can learn a LOT from others experiences. Dark humor has also been her strong suit.
Whatever. I took my new medicine today. I'm not sure if it worked or not, but when I was coming down from it I got a wicked migraine that I really didn't see coming (I usually do) and even after some more pills it's very present.
I cut my own hair. Pictures later. I miss my mohawk. Badly.
XoXo
S
I put the little quotes around disabled because I think it's a very very strong word for someone who is fully functional but happens to be conjoined to their twin. A little abnormal, sure. But they function quite well. To me, a disabled person is someone whose life is hindered by their physical or mental challenges. Whatever. I know it's not the "real" definition.
And, to quote Amanda when Oasis hit a rough spot with a lot of people. "When you can no longer laugh at the darkness in life, that's when the darkness takes over."
It's just as true with this as it was with Oasis. Why was Oasis okay simply because it involved things Amanda has gone through? Life experience isn't everything. You can learn a LOT from others experiences. Dark humor has also been her strong suit.
Whatever. I took my new medicine today. I'm not sure if it worked or not, but when I was coming down from it I got a wicked migraine that I really didn't see coming (I usually do) and even after some more pills it's very present.
I cut my own hair. Pictures later. I miss my mohawk. Badly.
XoXo
S
February 17, 2010
PPPPMMMMSSSS
I had really bad cramps today. I'm tired of pills that don't do shit. DON'T DO SHIT.
So I went on an E-search for the PERFECT cramp and bloating reliever.
There are three things you need to stay away from when you have menstrual cramps and bloating. Caffeine, Aspirin, and Sodium. Caffeine is bad for cramping (I don't remember the reason.) Aspirin is not good for you if your bleeding, because it's a fucking blood thinner. Sodium causes you to retain even more water.
So, knowing this, why are these the three ingredients found in EVERY SINGLE MENSTRUAL RELIEVER? There are various main ingredients, but they always have one or more of those three things. One or more. ALWAYS. (except Midol PM, but anything with the words PM in the title will knock me out for over 8 hours.)
I concluded that Naproxen Sodium will be my best bet (Sodium be damned) and I'm currently wearing a thermacare heatwrap. I got both because if one failed, I'll have a backup. I'm wearing the heat wrap now. It's working pretty well. I'll probably wear it to work tomorrow. Definitely will. Cramps or not, I'm not taking any damn risks. I lost 5 hours of work. FIVE HOURS. That's over $30 off of my check. That's pulling me down to $370. Not enough.
Sorry about the double post.
XoXo
S
So I went on an E-search for the PERFECT cramp and bloating reliever.
There are three things you need to stay away from when you have menstrual cramps and bloating. Caffeine, Aspirin, and Sodium. Caffeine is bad for cramping (I don't remember the reason.) Aspirin is not good for you if your bleeding, because it's a fucking blood thinner. Sodium causes you to retain even more water.
So, knowing this, why are these the three ingredients found in EVERY SINGLE MENSTRUAL RELIEVER? There are various main ingredients, but they always have one or more of those three things. One or more. ALWAYS. (except Midol PM, but anything with the words PM in the title will knock me out for over 8 hours.)
I concluded that Naproxen Sodium will be my best bet (Sodium be damned) and I'm currently wearing a thermacare heatwrap. I got both because if one failed, I'll have a backup. I'm wearing the heat wrap now. It's working pretty well. I'll probably wear it to work tomorrow. Definitely will. Cramps or not, I'm not taking any damn risks. I lost 5 hours of work. FIVE HOURS. That's over $30 off of my check. That's pulling me down to $370. Not enough.
Sorry about the double post.
XoXo
S
Dump It.
Picture dump. My last posts have been too boring or serious.
Old picture. But, damn I love my smirk. :) I realized something, I think I'm really pretty. I love my smile and my face.
I think it's because I look a little creepy. And I think creepy is hawt. (This, I was trying Hard Candy makeup. Don't bother. It's not worth it.)
Sure, my skin looks really flat and even (the concealer palette) , but it looks so FAKE. And the split personality thing didn't work. And the purple mascara WAS purple, and didn't clump badly, but it also didn't add volume OR length so you didn't notice it. Mascara should do at least one or the other.
a Faceless bunny. :( It made me really sad. No one will be buying him, so he won't be eaten this Easter.
His eyes are creepy, and he is therefor on HAWT marshmallow bunny-pop. 
From when I was sitting at my parents house, waiting for my dad to get home because we were celebrating his birthday. I think that despite the clutter and poor light, it's very balanced and artsy.
Yes. This is beautiful.
Kyle and Cartmen making out. :)
Sticky notes that were put on my register at work :) Thanks Becki.
a new relationship. :] cute.
My brother, in my niece's room. Yeah, the bitch isn't eve a year old and she already has a chandelier.
That is all.
XoXo
S
Old picture. But, damn I love my smirk. :) I realized something, I think I'm really pretty. I love my smile and my face.
I think it's because I look a little creepy. And I think creepy is hawt. (This, I was trying Hard Candy makeup. Don't bother. It's not worth it.)
Sure, my skin looks really flat and even (the concealer palette) , but it looks so FAKE. And the split personality thing didn't work. And the purple mascara WAS purple, and didn't clump badly, but it also didn't add volume OR length so you didn't notice it. Mascara should do at least one or the other.
a Faceless bunny. :( It made me really sad. No one will be buying him, so he won't be eaten this Easter.
His eyes are creepy, and he is therefor on HAWT marshmallow bunny-pop. 
From when I was sitting at my parents house, waiting for my dad to get home because we were celebrating his birthday. I think that despite the clutter and poor light, it's very balanced and artsy.
Yes. This is beautiful.
Kyle and Cartmen making out. :)
Sticky notes that were put on my register at work :) Thanks Becki.
a new relationship. :] cute.
My brother, in my niece's room. Yeah, the bitch isn't eve a year old and she already has a chandelier.That is all.
XoXo
S
February 16, 2010
Evelyn Evelyn
I read the latest blog on the Evelyn sisters. I'm in love with them.
We all know who the twins are. We've all had alter egos at some point in our lives (eve if it was just a character you spent a little extra time on in the Sims) and we enjoyed being them.
When you create your alter ego, you always give them a back story that in some way takes part in what makes them so SPECIAL now. You wouldn't create an alter ego that was as plain or boring as yourself (or if you really are SPECIAL as yourself, you still wouldn't make them normal.) You'd give them the qualities that you yourself had and loved, and filled in the rest with the things you wish you were and wish you had. But how did alter ego you get so SPECIAL now? 90% of the time it's because of something tragic from the past.
It's how you create any character. It's how REAL people are made.
Is it mocking disabilities to have the twins be conjoined? Is it honestly making fun of child porn by putting it in their story? These things happen in real life. If the twins were REAL, you'd all marvel at them and the interesting (albeit sad) life they've lived. There would be a fucking movie in the works to tell their tale, and people would be SO TOUCHED by that movie that it'd be nominated for multiple categories in every award show you could think of (include music awards, as the twins are musicians) and they'd WIN nearly every one of them.
People do experience things in life that are this fucked up. People do overcome bad childhoods filled with gang violence, rape, drug abuse, child porn, running away from home, being orphaned, being suicidal, having no friends, and only being able to bond with an ANIMAL because you don't connect with people. Some people experience more of those things than others. When those people grow up to be something special, you look at their past and are amazed at how far they've come.
BUT, since this is fiction, it's automatically wrong. It's exploitative and mocks disabilities and child porn. Right?
What kind of "artists" are these? The Blind Side was a beautiful movie. I missed the first 10 minutes, and didn't know it was a true story until the end. I cried so much, and felt so moved by it even when I thought it was FICTION. The kid didn't seem too smart, he was in a bad neighborhood with a drug addict mother and a father that left his family. He was taken to foster homes but always ran away. No one saw the good in him until that family took him in. They, in a way, made him who he is and gave him the ability to have that life. (Much like Amanda and Jason are "helping" the twins")
If this were to be a fictional movie, people would have still ate it up. At least, they should. It shows the true side of most Christians (turning their backs on the needy... I'll talk about that another day) while also showing that there are people who can see the good in a complete stranger, even if no one else can. It shows that as long as someone wants better things for themselves, they can HAVE it. People can overcome any tragic past and do great things. (Yeah, I really liked that movie. haha.)
Basically, I'm saying that if the twins were real, there would be no doubt that everyone would be oohing and aaahing about them. But, since they're fiction, and the creation of Amanda (who, fans seem to be turning their backs on) the Evelyn sisters are taboo.
Why is this? It's just going way over my head why people are reacting THIS badly. People have used all the themes of Evelyn and Evelyn in every type of media you can think of.
The only difference is that because Amanda is gaining fame, everyone seems to think she must have changed to achieve it. They think she's TRYING TOO HARD and is making "joke" out of everything she does. Oasis anyone? There is quite literally no difference between that song and the twins. She's always been that quirky talented and very weird girl. Maybe everyone was just confused about who she was to begin with?
This post got long. In short: Anti-fans need to get over themselves because if child porn and disabilities are issues that you take THIS seriously, then maybe you should be donating your time and money to helping fix the issues instead of wasting your time on the internet whining about Amanda's new project. Why the hell do you even care?
And, why the hell did I spend all this time caring about some overly touchy people on the internet that I am not likely to ever meet? (oh yeah, I love Amanda, and will defended her to no end <3)
Fuck.
S
February 14, 2010
VD
The Blind Side:
Almost made me cry. A lot. Like, every 15 minutes. Not a movie to see while PMSing. But it was so good. I thought it would be a movie about football (ew) but it wasn't. Football was just a little part of the story. Movie makers need to figure out how to make their Trailers more accurate. This is the FIRST movie of the night that wasn't what I thought it would be.
Biagi's (restraunt. I can't spell it)
OMFG YUM. For serious. Chicken Parmesan. SO FREAKING GOOD. And the little bread+oil dip thing was amazing. I won't be complaining about going there ever again. High prices be damned.
Wolfman:
Not a scary-about-werewolfs movie like I thought it would be. It had a storyline. I thought it was going to be some trying-to-scare-you piece of shit movie. But nope. It had it's "suspense" points, and made you jump every now and then, but it had a legit story. Made me happy cuz I didn't think it would. Second movie that had a very misleading trailer. bastards of the movie industry.
XoXo
S
Almost made me cry. A lot. Like, every 15 minutes. Not a movie to see while PMSing. But it was so good. I thought it would be a movie about football (ew) but it wasn't. Football was just a little part of the story. Movie makers need to figure out how to make their Trailers more accurate. This is the FIRST movie of the night that wasn't what I thought it would be.
Biagi's (restraunt. I can't spell it)
OMFG YUM. For serious. Chicken Parmesan. SO FREAKING GOOD. And the little bread+oil dip thing was amazing. I won't be complaining about going there ever again. High prices be damned.
Wolfman:
Not a scary-about-werewolfs movie like I thought it would be. It had a storyline. I thought it was going to be some trying-to-scare-you piece of shit movie. But nope. It had it's "suspense" points, and made you jump every now and then, but it had a legit story. Made me happy cuz I didn't think it would. Second movie that had a very misleading trailer. bastards of the movie industry.
XoXo
S
RuPaul
Me in my pretty Valentine's Day hairdo watching RuPaul's Drag race.
I wish the Robert Verdi show was on over the weekend. It looks fabulous.
Sometimes I wish I were a guy just so I could be a drag queen. I fucking love feminine and fierce men. They pull it off so much better than women. Or I just seem to have an unhealthy love of homosexuality. :D
Michelle I loved the gaga cookies. And I love how Lady GaGa has a lot of outfits made out of red lace. Those are my favorites.
XoXo
S
February 13, 2010
February 12, 2010
Friday, Febuary 12
Six of Swords Reversed
A move into a new situation is not advisable at this time. Stop what you are doing and look around. Possible arguments will ensue as you have been ignoring a situation that's been building up. Conflicts and strife. You've been too slow at making a decision and others are ready to take the lead. Thoughtless and no regard for others' feelings.
Gee Daily Tarot, thanks for hitting the nail so perfectly on the head once again when I'm in need of guidance.
Period was supposed to start yesterday. I get the feeling that I'm gonna get it on fucking Valentine's day. >:( Fuck you, period. I hate you. I swear one of these days I'm gonna get over my fear of having strangers touch my vagina and go to Planned Parenthood and get me some FSM damned birth control. FOR FUCKING SERIOUS. Or, save my money and never have a period again (and never ever ever need birth control because it would render me unable to have a baby! :D)
XoXo,
S
A move into a new situation is not advisable at this time. Stop what you are doing and look around. Possible arguments will ensue as you have been ignoring a situation that's been building up. Conflicts and strife. You've been too slow at making a decision and others are ready to take the lead. Thoughtless and no regard for others' feelings.Gee Daily Tarot, thanks for hitting the nail so perfectly on the head once again when I'm in need of guidance.
Period was supposed to start yesterday. I get the feeling that I'm gonna get it on fucking Valentine's day. >:( Fuck you, period. I hate you. I swear one of these days I'm gonna get over my fear of having strangers touch my vagina and go to Planned Parenthood and get me some FSM damned birth control. FOR FUCKING SERIOUS. Or, save my money and never have a period again (and never ever ever need birth control because it would render me unable to have a baby! :D)
XoXo,
S
February 10, 2010
Hair
My back hurts. I took some pills. It still hurts.
I did the dishes, washed all the towels I could find, and cooked. Yeah, on the stove. Then, as I start to put together the shelf I bought months ago and remembered that the hammer I had last time belonged to Jacob's Ex. So no shelf tonight.
I'm going to dye my hair soon. Next Tuesday is an inspection, so probably after than. Green for sure. I don't know what to add to it though. Purple will look nice, but I want colors that can fade together when I was it, otherwise I'll have to wash each section separately. Big pain. And I really want to cut my hair. Short, flippy, spikey, maybe with some blunt cut bangs? I'm in love with short short hair. Unfortunately I'm "not allowed" to shave my head. I wanna fucking shave my flying spaghetti monster damn hair.
I just tried to draw a picture of what I wanted, and it turned out badly. Another day then.
XoXo
S
I did the dishes, washed all the towels I could find, and cooked. Yeah, on the stove. Then, as I start to put together the shelf I bought months ago and remembered that the hammer I had last time belonged to Jacob's Ex. So no shelf tonight.
I'm going to dye my hair soon. Next Tuesday is an inspection, so probably after than. Green for sure. I don't know what to add to it though. Purple will look nice, but I want colors that can fade together when I was it, otherwise I'll have to wash each section separately. Big pain. And I really want to cut my hair. Short, flippy, spikey, maybe with some blunt cut bangs? I'm in love with short short hair. Unfortunately I'm "not allowed" to shave my head. I wanna fucking shave my flying spaghetti monster damn hair.
I just tried to draw a picture of what I wanted, and it turned out badly. Another day then.
XoXo
S
February 09, 2010
I have prolific dreams...
The past few nights I've had several vivid dreams. Realistic, and I remember in entirety when I wake up (even though it fades to vague memories if I don't write them down.)
Last night was not one of those nights. But I woke up from a wet dream (that means "O" time.. I rarely remember my wet dreams. It's sad, but it's a happy little wake-up call.) Buuuut, when I came home from work today, I saw two packages laying on the table. OMFG MY TOYS CAME EARLY. Wow. I don't need a boyfriend. At all. A few friends, and a few toys. Guys can't do that shit. Seriously.
And Michellery, I LOVE you to death. :) You're really the only person I talk to about Brandon and the stuff that happened with him. And really, now that I have, I feel better. A little at least. :) I mean, it's not really resolved, but I'm a step closer to not caring about it (or him.)
Maybe, sometime or another, I'll spend a week in Indy (oh, maybe during Gen Con. I have COSPLAY IDEAS) and we'll get to have crazy dress-up fun.)
I just ate an orange, and it was yummy.
Much love
XoXo
S
Last night was not one of those nights. But I woke up from a wet dream (that means "O" time.. I rarely remember my wet dreams. It's sad, but it's a happy little wake-up call.) Buuuut, when I came home from work today, I saw two packages laying on the table. OMFG MY TOYS CAME EARLY. Wow. I don't need a boyfriend. At all. A few friends, and a few toys. Guys can't do that shit. Seriously.
And Michellery, I LOVE you to death. :) You're really the only person I talk to about Brandon and the stuff that happened with him. And really, now that I have, I feel better. A little at least. :) I mean, it's not really resolved, but I'm a step closer to not caring about it (or him.)
Maybe, sometime or another, I'll spend a week in Indy (oh, maybe during Gen Con. I have COSPLAY IDEAS) and we'll get to have crazy dress-up fun.)
I just ate an orange, and it was yummy.
Much love
XoXo
S
February 08, 2010
Lemons
I ate half a lemon. I love lemons. I swoosh around a mouthful of water after each slice to help prevent enamel decay. But dammit I can't eat more than half at a time, and I have like 4 more left in the fridge. I don't wanna waste them but I so can't eat more than this much a day.
And, I've honestly done a LOT of thinking about Brandon these last few weeks. I think I'll never get closure with him, just because he can't help but lie. I'm positive he was cheating on me the entire relationship. I pretended otherwise, because I just wanted to be with him, but I've come to terms with the fact that he did. A LOT. And he'll never admit it to me. And a part of me doesn't want to even talk to him anymore because it's really not worth the lies and confusion and hurt that it brings up. But I feel bad about turning my back to him completely. And he's back in jail for probation violations. He's retarded. I don't want to have to deal with it anymore.
And, if I ever movie to Indy (if my brother is wanting to move to Texas after Basic like my aunt i convinced he will, in which case we'd part ways and I'd get a tiny studio in Indy) we can walk like every day or exercise together or something. We'll be in great shape ;] Probably won't end up happening, but I'm working on finding SOMEWHERE away from here to live.
XoXo
S
And, I've honestly done a LOT of thinking about Brandon these last few weeks. I think I'll never get closure with him, just because he can't help but lie. I'm positive he was cheating on me the entire relationship. I pretended otherwise, because I just wanted to be with him, but I've come to terms with the fact that he did. A LOT. And he'll never admit it to me. And a part of me doesn't want to even talk to him anymore because it's really not worth the lies and confusion and hurt that it brings up. But I feel bad about turning my back to him completely. And he's back in jail for probation violations. He's retarded. I don't want to have to deal with it anymore.
And, if I ever movie to Indy (if my brother is wanting to move to Texas after Basic like my aunt i convinced he will, in which case we'd part ways and I'd get a tiny studio in Indy) we can walk like every day or exercise together or something. We'll be in great shape ;] Probably won't end up happening, but I'm working on finding SOMEWHERE away from here to live.
XoXo
S
February 07, 2010
Chellery
Michellephant,
The picture is on Tylor's myspace blog, about a year or two ago. Yeah, instead of coming up to me and saying "hi" when I haven't seen him in a year, he takes a picture of me and Brandon and acts like it was sooo dirty. I was just pointing out to him that there were in fact BOOKS about sex, and therefor his excuse to look at porn magazines were all invalid.
I had a dream last night that Brandon died. And I kept thinking "no, he's not dead, he's just badly injured" and then realizing/remember that he did die, and crying a lot. I will definitely be putting this in my dream journal once I find it. Til then it goes in my binder.
And I bought some stuff for... Myself
I love skinny jeans. Especially the bright colored ones. I know in high school I HATED them, but they're really grown on me. They (on the occasion I find some that fit my odd proportions) make my ass look magnificent. From the front I just look like a fatty though. Hopefully cutting out pop takes care of some of that. And once the snow is gone I'll be biking fairly often.
XoXo
S
The picture is on Tylor's myspace blog, about a year or two ago. Yeah, instead of coming up to me and saying "hi" when I haven't seen him in a year, he takes a picture of me and Brandon and acts like it was sooo dirty. I was just pointing out to him that there were in fact BOOKS about sex, and therefor his excuse to look at porn magazines were all invalid.
I had a dream last night that Brandon died. And I kept thinking "no, he's not dead, he's just badly injured" and then realizing/remember that he did die, and crying a lot. I will definitely be putting this in my dream journal once I find it. Til then it goes in my binder.
And I bought some stuff for... Myself
I love skinny jeans. Especially the bright colored ones. I know in high school I HATED them, but they're really grown on me. They (on the occasion I find some that fit my odd proportions) make my ass look magnificent. From the front I just look like a fatty though. Hopefully cutting out pop takes care of some of that. And once the snow is gone I'll be biking fairly often.
XoXo
S
February 05, 2010
I'm a nerd
Chris Jericho won his match. I know he could.
The chicks are fighting now. I like their outfits, I like that they usually have some sort of muscle tone instead of looking like little runway models. But they aren't generally very good at their choreography. And there ends up being a bit more hair pulling, clawing, and girly sounding noises when they get hit. And they flip out like whiny little girls when they loose and do that thing where their voices get higher pitched and shrieky.
Of course, I don't care for 90% of the wrestlers. Just Jericho and Mysterio. CM Punk are hot and everything, but Punk is just a straight edge stereotype (and the skinnier, emo-er kid of wrestling) And I don't see what people see in Cena. I prefer my overly macho ass hole and my little masked mexican man.
Monday Night Raw will be in Indy on the 22. I may go, if I have money for tickets. It's the only Indiana stop so far for all of WWE. No Jericho, but I'll be okay. Still lots of men acting macho and being buff while were bedazzled leggings and speedos. Hawt.
XoXo
S
(oh, I wrote down and mostly figured out the background of my Secondary character for my story last night. AWESOME.)
The chicks are fighting now. I like their outfits, I like that they usually have some sort of muscle tone instead of looking like little runway models. But they aren't generally very good at their choreography. And there ends up being a bit more hair pulling, clawing, and girly sounding noises when they get hit. And they flip out like whiny little girls when they loose and do that thing where their voices get higher pitched and shrieky.
Of course, I don't care for 90% of the wrestlers. Just Jericho and Mysterio. CM Punk are hot and everything, but Punk is just a straight edge stereotype (and the skinnier, emo-er kid of wrestling) And I don't see what people see in Cena. I prefer my overly macho ass hole and my little masked mexican man.
Monday Night Raw will be in Indy on the 22. I may go, if I have money for tickets. It's the only Indiana stop so far for all of WWE. No Jericho, but I'll be okay. Still lots of men acting macho and being buff while were bedazzled leggings and speedos. Hawt.
XoXo
S
(oh, I wrote down and mostly figured out the background of my Secondary character for my story last night. AWESOME.)
February 04, 2010
favorite pants, skinny jeans, and me trying not to be a fattie :)
What a day. My beautiful work pants have met their match. After 3 saftey pins to hold the crotch together, one for the clasp.... well, the zipper pulled off tract today and the little track thing is broke so even if I got it back on it'd come off every time I zip em up.
R.I.P. my favorite pair of pants. I've had them since my freshman/sophomore year.
So I went on the quest to find a new pair. I spent about an hour browsing through the 100's of black pants at Salvation Army (dress pants, sweat pants, plain-old black pants) and found a few cute pairs about in my size. I tried them on.
Cutest pair didn't fit. Sad day.
Sweat pants/work out pants didn't look professional enough for my liking. I like to have pants with a nice, shapely fit. I was hoping they'd be the more clinging styled sweats. But no, they were baggy crotched.
Last pair just plain wasn't big enough, and I cut my thumb on the staple that they used to put the tag on. It bled badly for a few minutes. This was a sign.
I drove down to Wal-Mart with high hopes. This is where I got my beautiful and now retired pair of work pants. The only dress pants I saw were in the plus sized section, and the old ladies section where the waist was elastic and went up to your natural waist. NO.
Tons of black bottoms in the teens/young adults section. Unfortunately they were ALL skinny jeans. Every single damn pair. Some were too denim-looking (work requires solid dark black pants. None of the uneven tones most denim has.) Some were just leggings. Some just weren't in my size at all.
I ended up buying a pair of solid black denim skinny jeans. Now the skinny jeans that look good on me (the kind that DON'T suction cup my muscular calves) and they don't even fit me right... Too tight around my legs, too loose around the crotch, but nicely fitted around my waist. That's what matters. The OTHER pairs I tried on were too right around my waist not matter size I tried.
Skinny jeans have a tendency to be a bit smaller around the waist. It fits closely to the contours of your body. Your hips do in fact go in around where your pants sit. Unfortunately if you aren't *ahem* SKINNY then you'll be left with the muffin top effect. Us bigger girls need pants that either remain the same size or get LARGER around the band. We don't need your artificial curves right there.
This is my semi-rant on skinny jeans. I only hate them because I know they don't look good on me because I'm not skinny.
Besides today and yesterday I've been eating better. Cut down on pop, and starting tomorrow cutting it out completely. I bought bottled water (because Decatur's water makes me fucking sick.)
Healthier self, I'm slowly on my way :)
XoXo
S
R.I.P. my favorite pair of pants. I've had them since my freshman/sophomore year.
So I went on the quest to find a new pair. I spent about an hour browsing through the 100's of black pants at Salvation Army (dress pants, sweat pants, plain-old black pants) and found a few cute pairs about in my size. I tried them on.
Cutest pair didn't fit. Sad day.
Sweat pants/work out pants didn't look professional enough for my liking. I like to have pants with a nice, shapely fit. I was hoping they'd be the more clinging styled sweats. But no, they were baggy crotched.
Last pair just plain wasn't big enough, and I cut my thumb on the staple that they used to put the tag on. It bled badly for a few minutes. This was a sign.
I drove down to Wal-Mart with high hopes. This is where I got my beautiful and now retired pair of work pants. The only dress pants I saw were in the plus sized section, and the old ladies section where the waist was elastic and went up to your natural waist. NO.
Tons of black bottoms in the teens/young adults section. Unfortunately they were ALL skinny jeans. Every single damn pair. Some were too denim-looking (work requires solid dark black pants. None of the uneven tones most denim has.) Some were just leggings. Some just weren't in my size at all.
I ended up buying a pair of solid black denim skinny jeans. Now the skinny jeans that look good on me (the kind that DON'T suction cup my muscular calves) and they don't even fit me right... Too tight around my legs, too loose around the crotch, but nicely fitted around my waist. That's what matters. The OTHER pairs I tried on were too right around my waist not matter size I tried.
Skinny jeans have a tendency to be a bit smaller around the waist. It fits closely to the contours of your body. Your hips do in fact go in around where your pants sit. Unfortunately if you aren't *ahem* SKINNY then you'll be left with the muffin top effect. Us bigger girls need pants that either remain the same size or get LARGER around the band. We don't need your artificial curves right there.
This is my semi-rant on skinny jeans. I only hate them because I know they don't look good on me because I'm not skinny.
Besides today and yesterday I've been eating better. Cut down on pop, and starting tomorrow cutting it out completely. I bought bottled water (because Decatur's water makes me fucking sick.)
Healthier self, I'm slowly on my way :)
XoXo
S
February 03, 2010
ooops
I'm ashamed of myself. Last night I spent $60 at Adam and Eve [dot] com. I'm not so much ashamed about the things I bought, but that I ended up spending $60. SERIOUSLY SELF? But I was only going to buy 2 things. Two. And it ended up being about $52 after shipping... And for 8 dollars more I could get free shipping.
Yeah, I know. I'm bad about money when it comes to good deals. And it allows me to avoid face to face confrontation when I buy anything even remotely intimate. I can't even go to the sex book aisle at Barnes and Noble without a picture of me showing up on the internet. Not even shitting you. This has happened.
So I'm done with spending until I either get my tax returns or I get paid again. I already payed off the bills, so I'm good as far as that goes.
And thanks Michelle. You're awesome. :) You are exactly what best friends are for.
XoXo
S
Yeah, I know. I'm bad about money when it comes to good deals. And it allows me to avoid face to face confrontation when I buy anything even remotely intimate. I can't even go to the sex book aisle at Barnes and Noble without a picture of me showing up on the internet. Not even shitting you. This has happened.
So I'm done with spending until I either get my tax returns or I get paid again. I already payed off the bills, so I'm good as far as that goes.
And thanks Michelle. You're awesome. :) You are exactly what best friends are for.
XoXo
S
February 02, 2010
Quick.
Pretty poor quick sketch (like, 15/20 minutes) because I felt like it. Sharpie on notebook paper. Her smile is crooked. Oh well. Lips and noses are the two parts I fuck up on the most, and I got the nose well enough, so one for two is good enough for me.
Feeling down on myself. Trying to calm my nerves. Need to go to bed.
XoXo
S
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)