So, I JUST found out about the ban on flavored tobacco and clove cigarettes. I hate letting things get to me, but I am (after realizing how shitty digital tv has made everything) beginning to disbelieve in the governments intentions again. How did I lose my way and re-become a government loving douche-bag anyway? Glad I'm getting over it.
1) Clove cigarettes... They're the "goth" smoke. I actually had every intention to buy a pack, just to have, because they're THE GOTH CIGARETTE. They would benefit me in photo shoots, and make me feel 'cool' for owning them, despite not being a smoker, and probably never smoking more than 2 or 3 of them. They were something that I wanted to experience, because they don't sell them around here and they aren't cheap. If I wanted a regular cigarette I'd just get them from my mom.
2) I have only ever heard of flavored cigarettes once, in health class at school. They don't really talk about them in TV shows or on the news and I've never seen a cigarette ad for anything besides plain camel cigs. They aren't marketed for kids, because more kids only know about the cigarettes in their mommies purse.
3) I know a LOT of underage smokers (okay, they're all legal now, but they weren't when I met them) and NOT ONE OF THEM smoked cloves or flavored cigarettes. They smoke what their parents or friends smoke. Whichever they could most easily get ahold of is what they smoked. How can they be the gateway if the only people who smoke them are seasoned smokers?
4) How is it legal for you to take something that is no more harmful than the regular cigarettes away from people who are the legal age to smoke? Just because it may taste better to them doesn't mean they'd quit if it weren't available. My mom started smoking a less tastey version of her Marboral Menthols because she couldn't afford them. She didn't quit. She switched. Everyone else will too.
5) Of all the reason to ban any type of cigarette, they chose the ones that I would call bullshit on. Oh, its not because they'll eventually give you cancer and kill you while letting your secondhand fumes kill everyone around you. No, it's because of the chiiildren. Nevermind that only adults smoke the yummy ones, NOOOO it's for the KIDS SAKE. Even though they'll be able to smoke chain smoke their cheap nasty cigarettes legally anyway (and will do so
tl;dr
I want some cloves you insensitive bastards. AT LEAST CIGARETTES DON'T CAUSE CAR ACCIDENTS LIKE ALCOHOL AND POT (okay they kill you anyway, but they don't hinder your ablity to think straight after you've smoked one)
September 30, 2009
September 21, 2009
In love with Indianapolis, Tattoos, Metallica, Lamb of God
I've been so drowsy lately. Only on days that I work. Today was the worst, but it seems like no matter how much sleep I get I can't get started in the morning. I get 7 hours of sleep every night. EVERY night. I go to bed some time between midnight and 1. I wake up between 7 and 8. Besides me waking up at 3 every night (which I've done since I can remember) I get solid sleep. I don't know why I can't function just because of me getting up at 7:30 instead of 9:30. I even usually got LESS sleep when I was working at 9:30, so why can't I snap out of the tiredness. Even Brad commented on how slow I was going today (not just work-quality. My response time is longer when we're talking, I'm not processing things right anymore.) I don't have the problem on the weekends, when I stay up til 3 and get up anywhere from 7-11. I'm hyped and energized. The only factor is that I'm going to bed sooner and getting up at an earlier time. After a month you'd think I'd have gotten used to it. My internal clock is a stubborn bitch.
Well, I got my tattoo Friday. LOVED Indy, as I always do. I miss the city already. I love the city.
Anyway, here are a few of my pictures from Indy (including Metallica, Lamb of God, my hotel room, and various places in Indy)
So it took the better part of an hour to upload all of those. I hate mass photo uploads. Especially after doing an even bigger mass photo upload for my Facebook. Anyway. The hotel was fucking beautiful, top to bottom. So much care for detail. We even got one of the few end rooms, which has a long wall that goes to a corner at the window. If you know anything about me and rooms, you know I love unique room shapes. Like how I love this room because the ceiling goes at slight angles instead of being flat, and the bedroom in the basement has 8 walls instead of 4, giving it more shape. The colors for the hotel were even beautiful and looked older, like the kinda fit the date that the building was made (in some places, in others it was very modern.) The continental breakfast was phenominal too. And there was a chef standing and asking everyone if there's anything else they want, and if they're enjoying the meal. He offered to make a guy some eggs because there weren't any included. They even treated all of us Metallica-concert-goers as well as the people who looked like they were there on business. Yeah, if you're ever in downtown Indianapolis, stay at the Hampton Inn across from the mall. It's a bit pricey, but it's 100% worth it.
The concert... I hid my Mace on my shoe, because I'm pretty sure we shouldn't have it. I was a bit nervous when they patted me down, because they did the legs too, and if they'd have gone an inch lower on the front of my leg I bet they'd have felt it. But I don't even like being in Decatur without mace. I keep in on my purse now instead of my lanyard though, because I've been letting Brandon carry the lanyard (It ruins some nice outfits) and that makes the mace useless. Anyway. We didn't make it in time for the first band. I wasn't feeling good, so we waited until the Tylenol kicked in. We were on the floor, so we were smashed in front of the stage (it was a small space, but so much closer than the seating) and got to see all of the Lamb of God set. It was bad ass. But fuck, Metallica was AWESOME. Not just them and their music, the lasors, the lights, the moving coffin light fixures and the colored fire. It was the full "we're famous as hell and know how to give a show" concert. I got a guitar (maybe bass) pick. Brandon got one from Lamb of God AND Metallica. :)
I still think the Offspring concert was better, but I knew 90% of the songs the Offspring sang word for word. I couldn't even sing along to most of Metallica. I knew some, a lot were familiar, but not word-for-word familiar. Still. Fucking awesome.
Then, of course. My love of Indy. I could have wondered around that place for hours. Easily. Gotten lost and enjoyed every second of taking in my surroundings. Indy just gives me such an at-home comforting feeling. Being around quite a few people but never too many. Getting the big city feeling without the same fear (in Downtown Inianapolis of course. It does have it's bad side, and it scares the shit out of me) of a place like Chicago. Although, I think I've only ever been on the bad side of Chicago. I was young I don't totally remember but the place looked dirty everywhere. Buuuut. yes. I'm in love. With Indianapolis. I miss it so much.
Our tattoos were done by John Chandler of Steel Rod Tattoo. The red spots on Brandon's Hello Kitty's foot and face are HIS blood, not the tattooed blood. Now that it's more healed it's just nice zombie green. Both were about $150.
X0X0
Well, I got my tattoo Friday. LOVED Indy, as I always do. I miss the city already. I love the city.
Anyway, here are a few of my pictures from Indy (including Metallica, Lamb of God, my hotel room, and various places in Indy)
So it took the better part of an hour to upload all of those. I hate mass photo uploads. Especially after doing an even bigger mass photo upload for my Facebook. Anyway. The hotel was fucking beautiful, top to bottom. So much care for detail. We even got one of the few end rooms, which has a long wall that goes to a corner at the window. If you know anything about me and rooms, you know I love unique room shapes. Like how I love this room because the ceiling goes at slight angles instead of being flat, and the bedroom in the basement has 8 walls instead of 4, giving it more shape. The colors for the hotel were even beautiful and looked older, like the kinda fit the date that the building was made (in some places, in others it was very modern.) The continental breakfast was phenominal too. And there was a chef standing and asking everyone if there's anything else they want, and if they're enjoying the meal. He offered to make a guy some eggs because there weren't any included. They even treated all of us Metallica-concert-goers as well as the people who looked like they were there on business. Yeah, if you're ever in downtown Indianapolis, stay at the Hampton Inn across from the mall. It's a bit pricey, but it's 100% worth it.
The concert... I hid my Mace on my shoe, because I'm pretty sure we shouldn't have it. I was a bit nervous when they patted me down, because they did the legs too, and if they'd have gone an inch lower on the front of my leg I bet they'd have felt it. But I don't even like being in Decatur without mace. I keep in on my purse now instead of my lanyard though, because I've been letting Brandon carry the lanyard (It ruins some nice outfits) and that makes the mace useless. Anyway. We didn't make it in time for the first band. I wasn't feeling good, so we waited until the Tylenol kicked in. We were on the floor, so we were smashed in front of the stage (it was a small space, but so much closer than the seating) and got to see all of the Lamb of God set. It was bad ass. But fuck, Metallica was AWESOME. Not just them and their music, the lasors, the lights, the moving coffin light fixures and the colored fire. It was the full "we're famous as hell and know how to give a show" concert. I got a guitar (maybe bass) pick. Brandon got one from Lamb of God AND Metallica. :)
I still think the Offspring concert was better, but I knew 90% of the songs the Offspring sang word for word. I couldn't even sing along to most of Metallica. I knew some, a lot were familiar, but not word-for-word familiar. Still. Fucking awesome.
Then, of course. My love of Indy. I could have wondered around that place for hours. Easily. Gotten lost and enjoyed every second of taking in my surroundings. Indy just gives me such an at-home comforting feeling. Being around quite a few people but never too many. Getting the big city feeling without the same fear (in Downtown Inianapolis of course. It does have it's bad side, and it scares the shit out of me) of a place like Chicago. Although, I think I've only ever been on the bad side of Chicago. I was young I don't totally remember but the place looked dirty everywhere. Buuuut. yes. I'm in love. With Indianapolis. I miss it so much.
Our tattoos were done by John Chandler of Steel Rod Tattoo. The red spots on Brandon's Hello Kitty's foot and face are HIS blood, not the tattooed blood. Now that it's more healed it's just nice zombie green. Both were about $150.
X0X0
September 15, 2009
spikes
Tomorrow is the last full day of work I have this week. Then, a 2 hour opening shift and I'm headed to Indy. Hopefully I'll spike up my mohawk. Brad really can't bitch about it, since I won't be on line Thursday. Schooling myself on the methods now, since I'll have to do it tomorrow night.
I want to try a teased DeathHawk first, but liberty spikes are nothing to be ashamed of.
I want to try a teased DeathHawk first, but liberty spikes are nothing to be ashamed of.
September 14, 2009
Pittbulls
I just had a thought on the issue of Pitbulls with children.
For one, there were only 23 dog related deaths in the USA last year. Yes, about half of them were Pitbull related. And half of the attacks (from all breeds) were on children.
Trying to say the Pitbull has a bad temperament, and that it can just 'snap' at any time and attack seems a bit unreasonable. It's based off of people who just had their children mauled to death. The opinion is obviously biased, because if you still loved your little animal companion despite them tearing up your kid you have problems.
The thing is, the owners always talk about how sweet the dog always is. ALWAYS talk about it after the attack. They tell them that it's never seemed danagerous before. He's that thought I was talking about:
Who the FUCK would confess to maybe being a shitty owner right after their dog killed their family member? Who would say that "yeah, Jimmy could get rough with the dogs sometimes, but we didn't think they'd eventually fight back." And they almost ALWAYS left the kid alone with the dog. And most of the attacks happen in a city area (neighbors all around, and little yards with little picket fences) which anyone could tell you is no place for an animal unless the owner wants to walk it constantly and has a large enough (and fenced in) yard for the animal to have freedom. Animals weren't meant to be chained outside all night, or coopd up in a house all day. No matter how loyal they are it's not a good living enviroment.
Anyway. What my point is, what kind of dumbass would admit that the attack may have (quite possibly) been due to your inability to raise the animal, or teach your children poper care around it... or because you were a dumbass and left a very very young (sometimes less than one year old) child alone for more than 5 seconds while a large animal that could easily feel distressed (due to having a new whiney little brat around... the jealousy happens with a lot of dogs) and possibly lash out.
Bottom line is, 1) don't break up fighting dogs if the breed is naturally strong, quick and tough. Not because the dogs disposition, but because the fucking dog is fighting and any dog will nip and bite at you if you break up their fight. Pittbulls are just bigger and thougher. 2) don't fucking leave your baby's or children in a room with no one watching them but a dog. Don't leave a big strong dog of any kind with your grandma (esspecially if she's babysitting your young child.) and 3) if you treat a dog right, while assesing the fact that you are dominant to them, and let them know that their misbehavior won't be tollerated WHILE NOT ABUSING THEM, they'll be fine. oh, 4) once the kid is old enough to walk up to an animal, it's time to teach them not to touch, lean on, pull on the hair or ears of, or grab their arms around an animal. Esspecially one that may not like it, or may feel threatened.
Rotweilers are #2 on the list of dogs that aren't 'fit' for pets, and my uncles dog has nock my sister over more to protect her than to hurt her, and not once stepped on her, or jumped on anyone because my uncle let the bastard know thta HE was boss. The thing never attacked a soul.
Then again, what do I know, right? I must be stupid for believing the numerous possitive sources. I should always just assume the worst of everything that OTHER people do, but everything I do must be good, right?
X0X0
(Pittbulls are funny looking but cute in a way)
For one, there were only 23 dog related deaths in the USA last year. Yes, about half of them were Pitbull related. And half of the attacks (from all breeds) were on children.
Trying to say the Pitbull has a bad temperament, and that it can just 'snap' at any time and attack seems a bit unreasonable. It's based off of people who just had their children mauled to death. The opinion is obviously biased, because if you still loved your little animal companion despite them tearing up your kid you have problems.
The thing is, the owners always talk about how sweet the dog always is. ALWAYS talk about it after the attack. They tell them that it's never seemed danagerous before. He's that thought I was talking about:
Who the FUCK would confess to maybe being a shitty owner right after their dog killed their family member? Who would say that "yeah, Jimmy could get rough with the dogs sometimes, but we didn't think they'd eventually fight back." And they almost ALWAYS left the kid alone with the dog. And most of the attacks happen in a city area (neighbors all around, and little yards with little picket fences) which anyone could tell you is no place for an animal unless the owner wants to walk it constantly and has a large enough (and fenced in) yard for the animal to have freedom. Animals weren't meant to be chained outside all night, or coopd up in a house all day. No matter how loyal they are it's not a good living enviroment.
Anyway. What my point is, what kind of dumbass would admit that the attack may have (quite possibly) been due to your inability to raise the animal, or teach your children poper care around it... or because you were a dumbass and left a very very young (sometimes less than one year old) child alone for more than 5 seconds while a large animal that could easily feel distressed (due to having a new whiney little brat around... the jealousy happens with a lot of dogs) and possibly lash out.
Bottom line is, 1) don't break up fighting dogs if the breed is naturally strong, quick and tough. Not because the dogs disposition, but because the fucking dog is fighting and any dog will nip and bite at you if you break up their fight. Pittbulls are just bigger and thougher. 2) don't fucking leave your baby's or children in a room with no one watching them but a dog. Don't leave a big strong dog of any kind with your grandma (esspecially if she's babysitting your young child.) and 3) if you treat a dog right, while assesing the fact that you are dominant to them, and let them know that their misbehavior won't be tollerated WHILE NOT ABUSING THEM, they'll be fine. oh, 4) once the kid is old enough to walk up to an animal, it's time to teach them not to touch, lean on, pull on the hair or ears of, or grab their arms around an animal. Esspecially one that may not like it, or may feel threatened.
Rotweilers are #2 on the list of dogs that aren't 'fit' for pets, and my uncles dog has nock my sister over more to protect her than to hurt her, and not once stepped on her, or jumped on anyone because my uncle let the bastard know thta HE was boss. The thing never attacked a soul.
Then again, what do I know, right? I must be stupid for believing the numerous possitive sources. I should always just assume the worst of everything that OTHER people do, but everything I do must be good, right?
X0X0
(Pittbulls are funny looking but cute in a way)
September 13, 2009
Body Mods and Plastic Surgery
I find it a bit ironic that people are generally more open minded towards tattoos and piercings over plastic surgery. Yep, I got straight to the point in the first sentence.
I was looking around the deviantArt complaints forum (my absolute favorite forum on the web, period) and of course, someone was bitching about plastic surgery and how shallow someone would have to be to butcher their body like that.
I'm aware that even in the open minded world today, there are people who think that anyone with a tattoo is dirty, poor, a criminal, a drug addict, a wife beater, a thief or some combination of all of those. It's sad that that stereotype exists, but it does. Even my manager, a man with a tattoo looking to get another, doesn't fully trust men who apply for a job if they have a visible tattoo.
This prejudice, though stupid, can be somewhat understandable, seeing how there are a lot of people walking around with prison tattoos, and there are a lot of criminals who have them as well. Am I a criminal? No. My boyfriend has a record, but he's still a sweet guy (just not the brightest) and he would never plot out negativity on another. Even people at work with tattoos that they got in prison are nice enough.
However, people who've gotten plastic surgery, instead of a stigma for being a criminal, are shunned for being shallow, and told that they should have gone to therapy to fix their body issues instead of mutilating the body god gave them. Yes. People who accept other's tattoos will refer to implants and face lifts and nose jobs as mutilation. This is kinda of ridiculous. Sure, there are people who get surgeries due to low self esteem, but you know what, there are people who get tattoos to feel better about themselves as well.
This is a tattoo that a girl I know got recently. A tattoo like this is for a person who is going through rough times in their life, and has been for a while. Maybe she isn't totally happy with herself, maybe she got it to stay strong. But it's a tattoo for the purpose of feeling better about herself. That's the same reason someone would get plastic surgery, is it not? And no one would critize this girl for her descion.
I got my chest piece because I'm nearly flat chested, and always felt really self conscious when I wore shirts that on any other girl would show cleavage, and they just hung on me. My tattoo gave me the confidence I needed to wear something other than a t-shirt and not feel insecure. I'm proud to strut around in something cut so low that my bra almost shows. People look, and I don't feel like it's because I don't look feminine enough. Sure, that idea of my own image probably isn't true, but I now feel better about myself. It wasn't pointless decoration. I got it for the same reason someone would get breast implants. I think I would have gotten them, if it weren't for the price tag and costs for upkeep.
So, why is it that people are more accepting of someone who has unnatural color injected into their skin permanently, people who have designs carved inot their skin for the purpose of leaving scars, and people who poke holes of all sizes through any given place of their body, than they are accepting of someone who enhanced their looks in a generally natural looking way? Most plastic surgery fades in time, and the effects wear off. Tattoos, even after laser treatment can still be visible on occasions. Breast implants can be removed. Noses can be returned to their original state in most cases.
Maybe it's because people feel that because the person is making an enhancement to their body that looks natural, that they're trying to lie about themselves. Maybe. Maybe they fear that someone they're into is really plastic, and for some reason that freaks them out because they can't tell (sure, fake breast feel fake, but they really shouldn't make or break a relationship.)
Yes, you can point out that someone with too much plastic surgery looks atrocious, but most people, even those with tattoos, will say the same thing about people with an entire body of tattoos and piercings.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and as long as someone feels that whatever mod they did to themselves (tattoo, piercing, scarification, plastic surgery or any other you can think of) is happy with it and likes the way they look, other people should learn to keep their overly negative opinions to themselves. I don't care if you tell me you don't like or care for my tattoos, but there's no reason to criticize me as a person, or tell me that you hope I regret them so that I can realize how stupid I am. Show the same respect for people who get plastic surgery.
XoXo
I was looking around the deviantArt complaints forum (my absolute favorite forum on the web, period) and of course, someone was bitching about plastic surgery and how shallow someone would have to be to butcher their body like that.
I'm aware that even in the open minded world today, there are people who think that anyone with a tattoo is dirty, poor, a criminal, a drug addict, a wife beater, a thief or some combination of all of those. It's sad that that stereotype exists, but it does. Even my manager, a man with a tattoo looking to get another, doesn't fully trust men who apply for a job if they have a visible tattoo.
This prejudice, though stupid, can be somewhat understandable, seeing how there are a lot of people walking around with prison tattoos, and there are a lot of criminals who have them as well. Am I a criminal? No. My boyfriend has a record, but he's still a sweet guy (just not the brightest) and he would never plot out negativity on another. Even people at work with tattoos that they got in prison are nice enough.
However, people who've gotten plastic surgery, instead of a stigma for being a criminal, are shunned for being shallow, and told that they should have gone to therapy to fix their body issues instead of mutilating the body god gave them. Yes. People who accept other's tattoos will refer to implants and face lifts and nose jobs as mutilation. This is kinda of ridiculous. Sure, there are people who get surgeries due to low self esteem, but you know what, there are people who get tattoos to feel better about themselves as well.
This is a tattoo that a girl I know got recently. A tattoo like this is for a person who is going through rough times in their life, and has been for a while. Maybe she isn't totally happy with herself, maybe she got it to stay strong. But it's a tattoo for the purpose of feeling better about herself. That's the same reason someone would get plastic surgery, is it not? And no one would critize this girl for her descion.I got my chest piece because I'm nearly flat chested, and always felt really self conscious when I wore shirts that on any other girl would show cleavage, and they just hung on me. My tattoo gave me the confidence I needed to wear something other than a t-shirt and not feel insecure. I'm proud to strut around in something cut so low that my bra almost shows. People look, and I don't feel like it's because I don't look feminine enough. Sure, that idea of my own image probably isn't true, but I now feel better about myself. It wasn't pointless decoration. I got it for the same reason someone would get breast implants. I think I would have gotten them, if it weren't for the price tag and costs for upkeep.
So, why is it that people are more accepting of someone who has unnatural color injected into their skin permanently, people who have designs carved inot their skin for the purpose of leaving scars, and people who poke holes of all sizes through any given place of their body, than they are accepting of someone who enhanced their looks in a generally natural looking way? Most plastic surgery fades in time, and the effects wear off. Tattoos, even after laser treatment can still be visible on occasions. Breast implants can be removed. Noses can be returned to their original state in most cases.
Maybe it's because people feel that because the person is making an enhancement to their body that looks natural, that they're trying to lie about themselves. Maybe. Maybe they fear that someone they're into is really plastic, and for some reason that freaks them out because they can't tell (sure, fake breast feel fake, but they really shouldn't make or break a relationship.)
Yes, you can point out that someone with too much plastic surgery looks atrocious, but most people, even those with tattoos, will say the same thing about people with an entire body of tattoos and piercings.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and as long as someone feels that whatever mod they did to themselves (tattoo, piercing, scarification, plastic surgery or any other you can think of) is happy with it and likes the way they look, other people should learn to keep their overly negative opinions to themselves. I don't care if you tell me you don't like or care for my tattoos, but there's no reason to criticize me as a person, or tell me that you hope I regret them so that I can realize how stupid I am. Show the same respect for people who get plastic surgery.
XoXo
September 12, 2009
I REALLY exist.
Today, I realized again that I do, in fact, exist. On a greater scale than I thought. People notice that I'm there. People I've never met, and never will. There wasn't a single place that I went that I didn't get a compliment on my hair, chest piece, or outfit.
A girl at McDonald's even told me that she recognized me from before (I do regularly stop there, picking up Steve, visiting Steve at work and stopping in to see if he's there or not) and said that she's been meaning to tell me that she LOVES my tattoo, and is getting one very similar to it, but with angel wings and her son's name in it. Yes. She remembers me. We've never met, but she recognizes me. This is immensely flattering, no matter how memorable a girl with unnaturally colored hair and a huge tattoo sprawled across her chest is, it's still flattering as hell for me.
Today I did two things I've never done before. Driving barefoot (I was planning on wearing heels, but that didn't pan out due to me being a klutz) and not wearing a bra. I think the only time I've taken off my bra EVER was because I was for showering and sex. That's it, ever since I started wearing one. I didn't know until today that those shitty little 'built in' bras work on tiny boobs. Also, I was trying out my underbust corset under my blue plaid top that I bought at Forever 21, because my waist needed some cinching (it worked like a charm, btw) and it didn't layer will with a bra that had an underwire, and it made my boobs look a little deformed. So I went without. Will I be doing this regularly? Don't count on it. But for me, I think this shows how much my confidence has grown in the last few years.
Go me. Not only do I exist, I do it with some confidence.
My mind has once again changed regarding my Halloween costume. FML I'm indesisive.
XoXo
A girl at McDonald's even told me that she recognized me from before (I do regularly stop there, picking up Steve, visiting Steve at work and stopping in to see if he's there or not) and said that she's been meaning to tell me that she LOVES my tattoo, and is getting one very similar to it, but with angel wings and her son's name in it. Yes. She remembers me. We've never met, but she recognizes me. This is immensely flattering, no matter how memorable a girl with unnaturally colored hair and a huge tattoo sprawled across her chest is, it's still flattering as hell for me.
Today I did two things I've never done before. Driving barefoot (I was planning on wearing heels, but that didn't pan out due to me being a klutz) and not wearing a bra. I think the only time I've taken off my bra EVER was because I was for showering and sex. That's it, ever since I started wearing one. I didn't know until today that those shitty little 'built in' bras work on tiny boobs. Also, I was trying out my underbust corset under my blue plaid top that I bought at Forever 21, because my waist needed some cinching (it worked like a charm, btw) and it didn't layer will with a bra that had an underwire, and it made my boobs look a little deformed. So I went without. Will I be doing this regularly? Don't count on it. But for me, I think this shows how much my confidence has grown in the last few years.
Go me. Not only do I exist, I do it with some confidence.
My mind has once again changed regarding my Halloween costume. FML I'm indesisive.
XoXo
September 11, 2009
I just realized that I'm REAL.
Just as I was starting to disconnect, shut down, and feel distant. So close. Slipping away from it all again.
Then I went on face book and scrolled through the news feed, looking at status updates. Caught my name in a comment, and it was someone I know from work, talking about me and my awesomeness. In seconds I pulled back together and all is now good again.
I may not have anything along the lines of friends anymore, but I'm still a part of the world. Other people not only recognize me and pieces of my personality, but they are impacted enough by my presence to mention me to others in general conversation.
Yep. I exist. And other people acknowledge it.
Also, mom, please stop facebook stalking me. I'm about to put you on my 'limited profile only' list. If I wanted you to know/read all those things I write to other people, I'd fucking tell you on any of the numerous occasions that I walk downstairs and hold idle chit chat with you.
X0X0
Then I went on face book and scrolled through the news feed, looking at status updates. Caught my name in a comment, and it was someone I know from work, talking about me and my awesomeness. In seconds I pulled back together and all is now good again.
I may not have anything along the lines of friends anymore, but I'm still a part of the world. Other people not only recognize me and pieces of my personality, but they are impacted enough by my presence to mention me to others in general conversation.
Yep. I exist. And other people acknowledge it.
Also, mom, please stop facebook stalking me. I'm about to put you on my 'limited profile only' list. If I wanted you to know/read all those things I write to other people, I'd fucking tell you on any of the numerous occasions that I walk downstairs and hold idle chit chat with you.
X0X0
September 09, 2009
eyebrows and hair dye
There is something that having toxic orange/yellow has made me realize. I have dark fucking eyebrows. When I was bleach blond I didn't really realize it, because a lot of people who lighten their dark hair leave their eyebrows, and maybe I got more sun last summer and the effects are wearing off... But now, even after plucking and thinning (it's supposed to help lighten them up) my eyebrows look nearly black.
I have the darkest hair of anyone in my family. Coincidence? I think not >:] hahaha. But really, My mom's eyebrows are nearly not there, my sisters are the same dirty blond as her hair, my brothers are lighter brown and my dad has red hair, so he may as well not have eyebrows to begin with. How did I get stuck with the dark ones?
Now, I was watching the new episodes of America's Next Top Model (those short girls look taller than I do... Then again, I'm 5' 6" so they really aren't too much shorter... and about a third my size)... But they did some make-overs already and a few of them bleached out their eyebrows.
I like this. They're nearly invisible. Chic, mod, whatever. I like it. I could draw some on with brown shadows, make sharpie lines to match whatever color my hair is for photo shoots... Draw me some Palmer-eyebrows. Yes. I'm making an effort to put pictures in my posts.
Possibly, I could just bleach them to that orangey color. I think it's suit me.
My hair color turned out well enough. Having it... whatever that color was didn't seem to effect the color it turned out. The same mostly red with slight orange highlights that's other people got. Well, some did. Maybe the previous color did effect it, but I like it. In some lights, the ends look coppery and in others it's just bright deep red. I wish they'd have had Electric Lava though. I like orange.
I'll post pictures once my hair is healthy enough to shampoo and straighten. Maybe it'll match my red and black corset. I should be getting it soon.
XoXo pics to come
I have the darkest hair of anyone in my family. Coincidence? I think not >:] hahaha. But really, My mom's eyebrows are nearly not there, my sisters are the same dirty blond as her hair, my brothers are lighter brown and my dad has red hair, so he may as well not have eyebrows to begin with. How did I get stuck with the dark ones?
Now, I was watching the new episodes of America's Next Top Model (those short girls look taller than I do... Then again, I'm 5' 6" so they really aren't too much shorter... and about a third my size)... But they did some make-overs already and a few of them bleached out their eyebrows.
I like this. They're nearly invisible. Chic, mod, whatever. I like it. I could draw some on with brown shadows, make sharpie lines to match whatever color my hair is for photo shoots... Draw me some Palmer-eyebrows. Yes. I'm making an effort to put pictures in my posts.Possibly, I could just bleach them to that orangey color. I think it's suit me.
My hair color turned out well enough. Having it... whatever that color was didn't seem to effect the color it turned out. The same mostly red with slight orange highlights that's other people got. Well, some did. Maybe the previous color did effect it, but I like it. In some lights, the ends look coppery and in others it's just bright deep red. I wish they'd have had Electric Lava though. I like orange.
I'll post pictures once my hair is healthy enough to shampoo and straighten. Maybe it'll match my red and black corset. I should be getting it soon.
XoXo pics to come
September 08, 2009
So Far, the Worst Week Ever.
So, today I came to find out that someone stole money out of my wallet. Don't know when, why or who (or where even... Break room most likely) but it's irrelevant now. I may not know who did it, it could have been someone who was working, or someone who just stopped by to say hi or check the schedule. But some of Brandon's and all of mine is missing. I freaked out a little, but thankfully Brad is pretty much amazing and gave me money from the drawer to make up for it. He said he knew that if we filed a report they'd just tell me that I shouldn't be carrying that much money around with me in the first place... Fuck them, I shouldn't have to be afraid of my money being stolen at work. Where's the camera in the break room? But Brad knows that me and Brandon don't exactly have to extra money to take replace what went missing.
Thanks to Brad I was able to put the full amount of Brandon's money into my account to pay for the hotel room that we need for Metallica (which, we already bought tickets for in advance) and I had the twenty that I needed to go up to Fort Wayne and get some dye to fix my hair dye disaster (I'd have had to keep it until next Tuesday if it weren't for him).
I'm making him a card or something to say thanks to him for being so nice. Seriously. I was so afraid. Brandon was upset enough that it got stolen.
Ugh. I hope this week doesn't get WORSE. I don't know how possible that it though.
X0X0
Thanks to Brad I was able to put the full amount of Brandon's money into my account to pay for the hotel room that we need for Metallica (which, we already bought tickets for in advance) and I had the twenty that I needed to go up to Fort Wayne and get some dye to fix my hair dye disaster (I'd have had to keep it until next Tuesday if it weren't for him).
I'm making him a card or something to say thanks to him for being so nice. Seriously. I was so afraid. Brandon was upset enough that it got stolen.
Ugh. I hope this week doesn't get WORSE. I don't know how possible that it though.
X0X0
September 07, 2009
5 Rules For Buying Unnatrually Colored Hair Dyes
Considering the results of my hair dying last night (toxic sunshiney orange isn't exactly flattering on anyone) I thought now was about the time for me to write up the basic rules of buying dye of an unnatural color. I broke all of these rules. Look what happened to me.
Rule 1) Research. Look up the brand and the color. Don't just go to a store and expect to wing it. It'll work sometimes, but not always. This is especially important if your wanting an exact color (a certain shade of pink, or a purple with a specific undertone.)
Rule 2) The color it is in the bottle is always darker than the color it will turn out once you rinse. How much darker differs from brand to brand, and from color to color, but it's ALWAYS lighter. My Atomic Pink dye (Special Effects) looks red in the bottle and on the hair, but ends up the truest and brightest pink possible. Reapply rule one and research to make sure that you finding the right shade, instead of trying to predict the color it will end up.
Rule 3) Don't trust the swatches, or colors they show you online. The only thing you can really trust is the users. RESEARCH to find people who have used the dyes to see what they did and how the color turned out. I trusted the swatches for the orange. This is not orange, and I applied the same method recommended for the best results of unnaturally colored hair. Also, don't trust photos on the product if there are any. Chances are, they're photoshopped. Color Splat for instance. I got Magenta when I bought Lavender. Boxes lie.
Rule 4) Unless a store is having a hairdye sale, or all of the colors in a specific brand need to go, DON'T BUY DISCOUNTED PRODUCTS. This one has held true more than anything else for me. I've never had a discounted dye that didn't suck in some way or another. Blues that faded quickly, or came out uneven. Oranges that aren't orange... It's discounted for a reason, remember that.
Rule 5) If your new, and really not wanting a bad experience, go with a trusted brand that has a lot backing it. Special Effects and Manic Panic are probably your best bet, since you have the proof to back them all up, and other's experience to let you know how each color will hold up.
For help with research, go to Bee Unique's Photo Gallery. Or the Manic Panic and Special Effects galleries that I linked in 5.
Don't be like me, don't end up with toxic hair. I'll post photos once I get it done up better. Hopefully they carry Electric Lava. Tiger Lily looks too close to my current radioactive color to risk it.
Rule 1) Research. Look up the brand and the color. Don't just go to a store and expect to wing it. It'll work sometimes, but not always. This is especially important if your wanting an exact color (a certain shade of pink, or a purple with a specific undertone.)
Rule 2) The color it is in the bottle is always darker than the color it will turn out once you rinse. How much darker differs from brand to brand, and from color to color, but it's ALWAYS lighter. My Atomic Pink dye (Special Effects) looks red in the bottle and on the hair, but ends up the truest and brightest pink possible. Reapply rule one and research to make sure that you finding the right shade, instead of trying to predict the color it will end up.
Rule 3) Don't trust the swatches, or colors they show you online. The only thing you can really trust is the users. RESEARCH to find people who have used the dyes to see what they did and how the color turned out. I trusted the swatches for the orange. This is not orange, and I applied the same method recommended for the best results of unnaturally colored hair. Also, don't trust photos on the product if there are any. Chances are, they're photoshopped. Color Splat for instance. I got Magenta when I bought Lavender. Boxes lie.
Rule 4) Unless a store is having a hairdye sale, or all of the colors in a specific brand need to go, DON'T BUY DISCOUNTED PRODUCTS. This one has held true more than anything else for me. I've never had a discounted dye that didn't suck in some way or another. Blues that faded quickly, or came out uneven. Oranges that aren't orange... It's discounted for a reason, remember that.
Rule 5) If your new, and really not wanting a bad experience, go with a trusted brand that has a lot backing it. Special Effects and Manic Panic are probably your best bet, since you have the proof to back them all up, and other's experience to let you know how each color will hold up.
For help with research, go to Bee Unique's Photo Gallery. Or the Manic Panic and Special Effects galleries that I linked in 5.
Don't be like me, don't end up with toxic hair. I'll post photos once I get it done up better. Hopefully they carry Electric Lava. Tiger Lily looks too close to my current radioactive color to risk it.
September 06, 2009
Hair, Halloween, and Partying
I am in every way psyched about Halloween right now. Raw Neon Orange, bought on sale at Hot Topic. I was hoping for more of a Leeloo Dallas color, but it's not too bad.
My hair is even lighter in real life. Kind of a yellow orange. That's just under those shitty florescent energy saver bulbs though. Who the fuck knows what it looks like in nice natural sunlight. Probably neon orange at it's finest. I think I see why it was on sale though. Not quite what the swatch led me to believe, but still, $5 for a bottle of dye? It's a steal. Maybe I'll go over it with a different orange later.
I don't know what I want to be for Halloween. I'm lost. I think I'm wearing a different costume to my birthday party than I am for Halloween. I'm almost sure of that. But what to be?
I'm thinking of getting some sort of outfit put together and wearing a long black curly wig and being Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter. I'd get to play with the special effect scars for my arm (they even have a cross shaped one) and I'd carry around Pengy and call him Sigmund. If I could talk Brandon into a lacey white shirt and a curly black wig, he'd be Jean-Claude. Why do I doubt that he would?
I'll keep you updated on my moving status, birthday plans and halloween costuming. If I had 150 expandable dollars I'd be buying my custom fit leeloo dallas costume, but I dooon't ;_;
ME
Leeloo
My hair is even lighter in real life. Kind of a yellow orange. That's just under those shitty florescent energy saver bulbs though. Who the fuck knows what it looks like in nice natural sunlight. Probably neon orange at it's finest. I think I see why it was on sale though. Not quite what the swatch led me to believe, but still, $5 for a bottle of dye? It's a steal. Maybe I'll go over it with a different orange later.I don't know what I want to be for Halloween. I'm lost. I think I'm wearing a different costume to my birthday party than I am for Halloween. I'm almost sure of that. But what to be?
I'm thinking of getting some sort of outfit put together and wearing a long black curly wig and being Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter. I'd get to play with the special effect scars for my arm (they even have a cross shaped one) and I'd carry around Pengy and call him Sigmund. If I could talk Brandon into a lacey white shirt and a curly black wig, he'd be Jean-Claude. Why do I doubt that he would?
I'll keep you updated on my moving status, birthday plans and halloween costuming. If I had 150 expandable dollars I'd be buying my custom fit leeloo dallas costume, but I dooon't ;_;
September 03, 2009
Binders
I posted already today. A pictureless post. I figured I'd share something about myself with you, and by that, I mean my binders. I'm only showing 3 (the others are in my high school box, which I don't want to get out right now, and aren't as decorative).
One is from last year around the time everyone started school (But I'm graduated d: ). It's all Dresden Dolls/Amanda Palmer lyrics.
Since this one is really busy, I'll break it down a bit for anyone interested in what it says.
One is from last year around the time everyone started school (But I'm graduated d: ). It's all Dresden Dolls/Amanda Palmer lyrics.
Since this one is really busy, I'll break it down a bit for anyone interested in what it says.
Can you see the means without the end-Astronaught; WKAP
Gravity Plays favorites- Gravity; the Dresden Dolls
Giddy as a gang banger- Mandy Goes to Med School; Yes Virgina
No one cares if your back is bleeding- Bad Habit; The Dresden Dolls
I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an Ampersand- Ampersand; WKAP
It isn't worth my time- Guitar Hero; WKAP
If wellness is this, what in hells name is sickness- Runs in the Family; WKAP
I can not run from my family-- Runs in the Family; WKAP
If you want a straight line, this would be a good time- Gravity; The Dresden Dolls
I've got some issues to work through- Girl Anachronism; The Dresden Dolls
We're taking you to Hollywood- Night Reconnaissance; No Virgina (purple line)
I think I'll wait another year- Another Year; WKAP
I've seen better days but I don't care- Oasis; WKAP
Just Sing- Sing; Yes Virginia
The world is happy without you- Dear Jenny; No Virginia
Sad but true the truth will turn your smile to a frown- Dear Jenny; No Virginia
Gravity Plays favorites- Gravity; the Dresden DollsGiddy as a gang banger- Mandy Goes to Med School; Yes Virgina
No one cares if your back is bleeding- Bad Habit; The Dresden Dolls
I'm not gonna live my life on one side of an Ampersand- Ampersand; WKAPIt isn't worth my time- Guitar Hero; WKAP
If wellness is this, what in hells name is sickness- Runs in the Family; WKAPI can not run from my family-- Runs in the Family; WKAP
If you want a straight line, this would be a good time- Gravity; The Dresden Dolls
I've got some issues to work through- Girl Anachronism; The Dresden DollsWe're taking you to Hollywood- Night Reconnaissance; No Virgina (purple line)
I think I'll wait another year- Another Year; WKAP
I've seen better days but I don't care- Oasis; WKAPJust Sing- Sing; Yes Virginia
The world is happy without you- Dear Jenny; No VirginiaSad but true the truth will turn your smile to a frown- Dear Jenny; No Virginia
I only drew on one side. The other just says "As wicked as you are, you're beautiful to me", has blue hearts all over and stickers from the price gun with Brandon's name one it... Also, In the corner is says "Fall 2008-Summer2008"
Next is only a 1/2 inch binder. It was an impulse buy, since I was going through changes in my life. They're more simplistic in words, bigger in design
The world is pretty upside down- Dear Jenny; No Virginia
There is this thing that's like talking except you don't talk- Sing; Yes Virginia
In the corner, I burned the plastic off and carved the ruinic symbol for protection (I think... it's been a while)
Along the spine I put more runes. I'm not totally sure anymore, but I think they all represent protection and various positive things.
Next is only a 1/2 inch binder. It was an impulse buy, since I was going through changes in my life. They're more simplistic in words, bigger in design
The world is pretty upside down- Dear Jenny; No Virginia
There is this thing that's like talking except you don't talk- Sing; Yes VirginiaIn the corner, I burned the plastic off and carved the ruinic symbol for protection (I think... it's been a while)
Since that binder was so thin I had to get a new one already because the pages were starting to tear out from me over-filling it.
I only just started decorating it. I'm not sure how well it's actually going, but this is only the back. I have the whole front to work with if I'm unhappy about it.
"Luck has nothing to do with it"
I made this the day after... well, the bad shit I was talking about in another post that I still don't feel like spewing across the internet to strangers. It's not really related to the incident, it's just what came out.
I only just started decorating it. I'm not sure how well it's actually going, but this is only the back. I have the whole front to work with if I'm unhappy about it.
"Luck has nothing to do with it"I made this the day after... well, the bad shit I was talking about in another post that I still don't feel like spewing across the internet to strangers. It's not really related to the incident, it's just what came out.
I'll keep you posted on my binders I guess. I get about one or two a year, depending on how much crap/inspiration I go through and how quickly it gets filled.
XoXo
XoXo
Apartments and Corsets
WE GOT THE APARTMENT. The big (slightly more expensive) one! They said we should be able to move in by the end of the month. It's time to save save save and get ready. EXCITEMENT.
I'm bidding on a corset on eBay right now (only 2 1/2 hours left and it's only at $15. I won't go more than $20 though, it's really nice, but it's only an underbust) and while browsing their selections I can't help but get a little annoyed. The list busk (which is complicated to work with, sturdy, and makes putting on a corset 100 times easier, LITERALLY) as "hook and eye closures." I mean, I know that a lot of uneducated corset buyers would probably call it that, but 5 closures in a piece of busk is nothing like a corset with 50 hook and eyes down each side. Hook and eyes are also not very sturdy and look strained if you actually tie the corset tight... which is the whole point of a corset. I have two full corsets with hook and eyes. I'd trade them both for one underbust corset with busk.
Whatever. I have eyes, I can look at the pictures. Now I can't go crazy and buy a lot of them, though, since I'll need my money for the APARTMENT THAT WE GOT! fuck yes.
XoXo
I'm bidding on a corset on eBay right now (only 2 1/2 hours left and it's only at $15. I won't go more than $20 though, it's really nice, but it's only an underbust) and while browsing their selections I can't help but get a little annoyed. The list busk (which is complicated to work with, sturdy, and makes putting on a corset 100 times easier, LITERALLY) as "hook and eye closures." I mean, I know that a lot of uneducated corset buyers would probably call it that, but 5 closures in a piece of busk is nothing like a corset with 50 hook and eyes down each side. Hook and eyes are also not very sturdy and look strained if you actually tie the corset tight... which is the whole point of a corset. I have two full corsets with hook and eyes. I'd trade them both for one underbust corset with busk.
Whatever. I have eyes, I can look at the pictures. Now I can't go crazy and buy a lot of them, though, since I'll need my money for the APARTMENT THAT WE GOT! fuck yes.
XoXo
September 02, 2009
ramblings and pictures
I'm going out this weekend. Only with Brandon. But hopefully Halloween USA is open by Saturday (if not, I heard Halloween Express)
My check came early today. So I got to fill my tank up before it got too low. YES. I hate driving once it's below a quarter of a tank (and, I vaguely remember my brother telling me it was bad for the car or the lines or something)... I didn't just break 300 this time. 360 fucking dollars. I was kinda happy when I looked at the check, but how much $360 is didn't hit me until I went to the bank and cashed it. I always put $200 in my accounts... And I was like "yay, 5o for me" and then was like "wait... why is she giving me over a hundred back? OH SHIT I MADE THAT MUCH MONEY! :D
I feel rich, even though I have to save most of it. Bills and stuff to come.
I'm still gonna splurg a little. Except, instead of getting me some new clothes, I'm taking me and Brandon to Golden Coral and the movies. Maybe I'll have a bit more left over for early Halloween shopping. At least a gallon of fake blood. I can make an outfit out of that.
Ick. This post is lacking pictures. I'll bluetooth some pics from my phone.
Various photos from the last few months. First two are of Brandon when we were at the park in Fort Wayne, playing with the statues. Second is the flowers he gave me. Third was from work, playing with lighting. 4th, me writing love on my arm (I want it tattooed like that, or similar). Then the Panda from Panda Express at Glenbrook. The red thing with the sunburst like pattern is what happens when you take apart one of those paper ketchup cups while it's full... Brandon trying to fight back the foot tall grass in his yard, the flower Steve gave me (I think)... Then the mannequins at the mall, the one is wearing a short short skirt, but is leaning over with it's ass hanging out. Not fashionable at all, people. A picture I drew on the stainless steel at work, of Team Awesome (what Becki and I call our carry out team during lunch). Zach, holding a sign at work that says something along the lines of "eat hear or they kill us" and the last is Brandon, in from of the "pubic parking" sign. Do you see what they did there?
My check came early today. So I got to fill my tank up before it got too low. YES. I hate driving once it's below a quarter of a tank (and, I vaguely remember my brother telling me it was bad for the car or the lines or something)... I didn't just break 300 this time. 360 fucking dollars. I was kinda happy when I looked at the check, but how much $360 is didn't hit me until I went to the bank and cashed it. I always put $200 in my accounts... And I was like "yay, 5o for me" and then was like "wait... why is she giving me over a hundred back? OH SHIT I MADE THAT MUCH MONEY! :D
I feel rich, even though I have to save most of it. Bills and stuff to come.
I'm still gonna splurg a little. Except, instead of getting me some new clothes, I'm taking me and Brandon to Golden Coral and the movies. Maybe I'll have a bit more left over for early Halloween shopping. At least a gallon of fake blood. I can make an outfit out of that.
Ick. This post is lacking pictures. I'll bluetooth some pics from my phone.
Various photos from the last few months. First two are of Brandon when we were at the park in Fort Wayne, playing with the statues. Second is the flowers he gave me. Third was from work, playing with lighting. 4th, me writing love on my arm (I want it tattooed like that, or similar). Then the Panda from Panda Express at Glenbrook. The red thing with the sunburst like pattern is what happens when you take apart one of those paper ketchup cups while it's full... Brandon trying to fight back the foot tall grass in his yard, the flower Steve gave me (I think)... Then the mannequins at the mall, the one is wearing a short short skirt, but is leaning over with it's ass hanging out. Not fashionable at all, people. A picture I drew on the stainless steel at work, of Team Awesome (what Becki and I call our carry out team during lunch). Zach, holding a sign at work that says something along the lines of "eat hear or they kill us" and the last is Brandon, in from of the "pubic parking" sign. Do you see what they did there?
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