migraines and work,

Migraines. Thank you Excedrin for taking it away, but fuck you for making me be so awake when I need to get to sleep.

I may not need a second job after all. I may get one anyway, but I won't NEED it (and therefor will likely not get one, oh well.) A girl I work with is moving out of the state, and will probably not be working here anymore, and she was our 9 o'clock opener and I may be able to get her position. That's almost 10 extra hours a week (I'll have to take a break, so it'll be more like 7 1/2. Either way, it'll be great.)

Those extra hours will pay for my phone bill well on their own. I could pay for it now anyway, but I prefer to have enough money to save a hundred from every check. It doesn't always pan out well. If it did I'd have well over a 1000 saved up, but I have money for when I have emergencies and that's what it's for, right? If I got some extra hours I'd be less likely to need to tap into my savings for little things like new tires and medicine though. I need some Excedrin of my own to keep in my purse so I don't have to be afraid of having a migraine when I'm hanging out with someone else.

Anyway, the future (and things in general) are looking up. I've managed to keep my room clean so far. GO ME!

Best weekend ever.

I can't even begin to explain how WONDERFUL this weekend has been.

First off, I went to Pride Fest on Friday night, and it ended up that the guy who was going to hang out with us brought along Crystal, who I haven't seen in ages (probably years, I think) and it was fun and we met a few new people and as Brandon and I were leaving we saw Chris Richards, who I haven't even heard from in a few years.

Saturday I woke up extra early to go to Breakfast with my family because Nick, my cousin who spends his days flying all over the place, was in town for the day. Tia and I were debating about our phones, to which he whipped out his iPhone and said something along the lines of 'I have an iPhone, and I'm pretty sure it's cooler than any phone that either of you have" :D so not only does he have a fucking iPhone, HE BRAGS ABOUT IT THE WAY I DO/WILL!

Then I went home, hung around. I think I slept quite a bit yesterday. The only downfall was that I accidentally hit a turtle while I was driving Micheal home. :( I still feel really bad. Why couldn't it have been an animal that actually did some harm? like a racoon or an opposum? Turtles don't hurt anyone. :(

Anyway, I stop at Brandon's we we hung out for a little bit. And I slept like a baby. This morning, I got some yummy sauge egg breakfast (and fell asleep before I could finish eating it...) But I decided that I wanted to move something. I can't remember what, but it lead to me deciding that I wanted to get a shoe rack, and I ended up finding one in the basement... that lead to me taking it apart, leaning one half back where my shoes are, and hanging the other half on my door. I edned up hanging all my belts, headbands, neclaces and hats on there. One thing lead to another, and next thing I know my closet is organized. I still have baskets on the floor, but I have haven't quite gotten to my dresser, nor do I have enough hangers at the moment.



So I decided to drive to town to get my tv stand from Brandon's, and ended up getting my cork board as well. Again, one thing led to another, and now my room is arranged in a way that I have TONS of floor space and it all looks so fucking organized, even with the piles of boxes still stacked on my desk. I even took a shower, and it's only fucking 9!

I feel SPECTACULAR. I don't think I've ever acomplished so much in one day, or had suck a great weekend.

the fucking iPhone 3GS!

I came, I touched, I creamed my pants with excitment.

We happened to stumble upon an AT&T the mysteriously (and I believe quite suddenly) popped up at the mall. Okay, it may have been there in it's little corner for AGES and I may have just never noticed. But I saw it today. We went in and THERE IT WAS! I got to try out an iPhone and the touch screen is everything I hoped for (such beautiful precision when I type)...

I got on the 3G network. BEAUTIFUL. Twitter, Facebook, deviantArt. It all looked just like it does on my laptop only MINIATURE! Played games. Turned it sideways. Poked at the screen.

I want it NOW. But I want the 3G S. It's a bit more expensive. It'll be about $300 for the activation and phone and apple care plan. Then $100 a month for 450 minutes of calls with rolloever, unlimited text, unlimited 3g use, and GPS function.

I generally use under 200 minutes a month. Most of those are half minutes from my really short phone calls. Within those minutes includes the ones I pay for, my free incoming, my free mobile to mobile and free nights and weekends. Under 200 minutes TOTAL. I do send and receive an average of 1200 messages though (that 2400 texts total, for us mathematically retarded) which more than qualifies me for the $20 unlimited texts.

(fun fact: I also found out that I only send about 40 more messages than I receive. I figured that number would be much much higher)


OOOOOkay, my talk is almost over. I hear the AT&T genuinley sucks as far as calls go. I mean, I don't call too much, but those (less than) 200 minutes that I use a month may be slightly worse now. Centennial Wireless isn't that great, but it certainly could be worse. And it also may be true that the iPhone will no longer be AT&T exclusive in 2010. That's only a few months after I'd be joining them. However, I still think I'll give AT&T a shot. It's only 2 years. In reality, that's not much, and as far as monthly bills go, $100 for what you get with THIS smart phone is dirt cheap. My manager pays that much a month for limited internet access and youtube (yes, he lists that as a feature) on his less-than-a-year-old Blackberry.

Anyway. I'm just fucking EXTATIC about getting to try one out, and having the screen live up to everything I hoped it would be.

Now I'm actually motivated to save my money. I WANT THIS.

Pamprin

Bad cramping all day. Body temperature can't decided whether I'm hot or cold and I'm so tired, weak and achy. Life is an ugly beautiful thing.

I think the Pamprin is actually causing some of the pain instead of taking it away. Or maybe it's just that I'm afraid to take the full dosage of unfamiliar pills.

Either way. I hope to god I make it through work tomorrow. I really let everyone down today, and only an hour into my shift.

My phone bill was also ridiculous. Apparently they didn't get the money my mom said she gave them (I partially wonder if she's lying about giving them my money though, it's hard to trust her with stuff like that) so not only do I now have two months worth of phone bills to pay, I have a late fee.

Mom told me to only pay for this months phone bill and that she'd sort everything out for me. Bastards.

I can't wait til I get my iPhone. I'll be paying $30 more a month, but it'll be so much more worth it. With ROLLOVER MINUTES.

I wish I could find some miracle pill for my cramps like I did for my migraines. Midol is ineffective, Ibuprofen makes me sicker and Pamprin seems to be doing about as well and Midol.

And yet life continues to go on.

Hair Tips for the Retarded

I'm constantly told by strangers (and, in some cases friends) that if I keep dying, bleaching and straightening my hair the way I do it'll fall out one of these days. Despite this I somehow manage to maintain hair that looks and feels healthier than theirs. I have a few fairly idiot proof tips to help anyone keep their hair silkier without expensive shampoos and treatments.

1) This is easy. The easiest of all. Don't shampoo your hair as often. Unless your hair produces SO much oils that it gets limp, lanky and stringy in the span of one day, you don't need to be shampooing it every single day. It may not have -quite- as much body at first, but you'll find that no conditioner can make up for the healing and smoothing of your hairs natural oils. Some people's hair produce more oil than others, and you can determine the amount of time to spend between each shampoo based on your own hairs oil production.

If you don't want to risk a day with greasy looking hair, then every other day is your best bet.

2) This one some people will struggle with, but it's also pretty simple. Straighten your hair on a lower setting. A lot of people straighten their hair on the highest setting simply because it gets the job done faster. Take your time and go slower. Pulling it through your hair 4 or 5 times slowly on a low setting can be the equivalent of pulling it through your hair 4 or 5 times quickly on the high setting. If you've been straightening your hair nearly every day for a few years the heat setting doesn't need to be as high anymore. I found that even though I required a medium to high setting 3 years ago, I can successfully straighten my hair on the lowest setting now.

3) It also helps to have a nice flat iron. I actually don't like Conair (thanks to what a flop their steam straightener was in my hair.) But get yourself a nice new one every year or two to keep it at the top of its game. Save the old one, you may need it in the future (I used to leave mine at my old boyfriends house in case we were out in the rain or if I stayed the night and showered there. That way I didn't have to lug my nice one around with me all the time.)

4) In regards to #2, if you switch your shower schedule to night instead of morning you can allow your hair to dry naturally, and take your time straightening it since you aren't as rushed as you are in the morning. This will definitely make a lower setting easier for you. You may need to touch up small sections when you wake up (I personally have to touch up my bang in the morning) but it will also give you a lot more time to get ready if your like I used to be when you'd spend 30+ minutes straightening your hair.

5) This is more guess work on my part, since I've never tested the theory out (and don't wish to risk my hair to try to) but I think the only products you should use in your hair on a regular basis are preps for your hair if your going to be straightening it. The only product that graces my hair is Chi Straight Guard (you can get it at Target, it's worth the few extra bucks). No hairspray (no teasing. Seriously. Give it body by keeping it healthy. unless you don't tease it often.) no expensive gels, glues or any of that. Of course, this doesn't apply to curly haired girls, you need your mouse and I understand that. But if you straighten your hair after putting hair spray in it you just fucked it royally. Even just a little extra heat to re-straighten bangs will hurt it, because your opening up the hair follicles and letting that styling product get sucked in. Products like that are harsh on hair colors, so why would you want it IN the follicle when it damages it just being outside it.

6) Get a trim ever so often. Even if only the very tips of your hair are split or damaged it can effect the look and feel of all of it. If your hair is layered then all of your hair starting from the shortest layer to the longest will feel harsh. This can make you think your whole head is dead hair and then go out for expensive products or treatments when all you really need is a quick snip.

7) Bleaching your hair won't make it get uber damaged. Leaving it in for more than 30 minutes will. If your going for a really light look when your hair is a really dark color plan on doing 2-3 sessions set a week apart from each other. During those inbetween weeks you'll want to not shampoo or straighten (or blowdry) your hair for at least two days. You just used one of the most harmful things your hair can handle, why put more stress on it? Let the oils heal and put conditioner in it (I leave it in for about 15-30 minutes.) You also don't want to shampoo it more than 24 hours before your next bleach session, since it will make your hair and scalp dryer, and due to this your scalp may actually get irritated during the bleaching.

I may add more to this later, but it's all I got for now. I hope someone find this at least a little helpful, since proper hair care is actually pretty important to me. A trained stylist can't always help you out if your hair is breaking off at the ends or feels dry and lifeless because they don't know all that you do to your hair. A product can't always be the magical answer. Sometimes it's up to you to take proper care of it in the first place. Products are made to help enhance the natural health of your hair, not fix it once it's fucked.

Before you say 'gay'

The CW has been playing these "When you say 'gay' do you know what you say" commercials.

They're pretty gay.

And retarded.

I'm not going to switch up my slang just because someone who is overly touchy can get offended. I'm well aware that that word they're using also can refer to homosexuals. But it's not totally uncommon for one word to have several meanings.

How many little bundles of sticks get offended when someone refers to a homosexual as them?

There are so many offensive words out there that are used so often (and I don't mean swear words) but do you see commercials saying "don't say nigger, or you're no better than them crackers are. "

Just because "gayness" seems to be a touchy subject now, whereas the racism craze is over I guess.

I really want to see Fuck: A Documentary again. It perfectly shows how versatile and useful a word can be.

I know, this blog is gay.

Tampon Snobs

Buying tampons reminded me of this situation. The cute stuffed tampons are just... cute tampons. I saw one on someones deviantArt page, and I really want to make on :3

ANYWAY. As someone who hasn't used pads since her first period (I'd rather shove wads of toilet paper up my vagina than use pads. I understand the fear of tampons, but can't understand how anyone can actually LIKE pads) I can say that I know how girls feel regarding the 'emergencies' when you don't have any tampons, and would die if the only thing anyone had was pads...

But a few weeks ago, a girl I worked with came in and begged me for a tampon, since no one else had any. I only buy one type of tampon, the O.B. tampons. You get 40 for about the same price. The one thing is, they don't have applicators. I never found a problem with this, since they don't have the noisy wrappers and you could fit 10 in any purse without it looking filled to the brim with feminine products.

However, when I handed the tampons to said girl, she stared at it dumbly. It was my last tampon, and even though she took it, it seemed to pop back up in my purse before I left work.

I wasn't really mad, because it's just a tampon, but I really can't fathom how someone who NEEDED a tampon, and could get nothing but pads from anyone else at the time, would choose a pad over the tampon simply because it lacked an applicator. Would you really have trouble figuring out how to shove a tampon up your vag just because it didn't have a little tube to squeeze it out of?

I've never met a brand/type of tampon I wouldn't use if I desperately needed one.

I also just read that a "con" of tampons is that they can make cramp worse. I want some scientific evidence to back this one up. Maybe if you have a sensitive vagina, I guess, but I think it's all in peoples head, since you can 'forget' that your on your period with a tampon when your cramps aren't bad, but you can always feel that your wearing a pad, so even when you feel fine your period isn't in the back of your mind.

Every time I try to type "pad" I type "bad" first... coincidence? I think not.

Men.

My faith in men his dwindled once again. Only this time not because of something dumb Brandon did. There's a plus :)

1) Breast size and attractiveness doesn't equal age. Just because she has perfect skin and huge tits doesn't mean she is legal. And just because you aren't going to try to bang her doesn't make it any less disturbing that you're staring down a 15 year old girls top. Would you want a 30 year old guy staring at your 15 year old sister's boobs, regardless of how she looked or how big her chest was? Didn't think so. So stop.

2) Just because she looks legal doesn't mean you should believe her when she says she's 18. When they look YOUNG, it's a good thing to make 100% sure that she is the age she claims. As someone who looks a bit younger than she is, I can say that even though it's a bit tiresome to hear that I look 16 it's always nice to know the guy isn't a creeper. Ask her parents. Her friends may lie for her. He parents won't. The only reason she'd be pissed at you for it is if she's underage and you just fucked her plan of dating someone whose 20-something.

3) If you find out that the girl your dating is underage, and your legal, break the fuck up with her. Once you find this out, your 100% liable for anything that happens. You could spend the rest of your life as a sex offender if her parents found out you had sex. Also, if you're love was as deep and profound as you thought it was, in a few years when she's now legal, you guys will have no issues getting back together because you'll have waited for each other, right?

Only exception to this is if you're only two years older than the girl. 16+18= okay. 17+19=okay.

4) no matter how much you love huge tits, I will always believe in quality over quantity. I find that anything larger than a C has a profound amount of sag. Bonus points to you if yours remain perky at that size, but you're a rare gem. I don't care if you have DD's, because once you aren't wearing a bra you titties hit the bottom of your ribcage and when you move they somewhat resemble mudflaps on a semi. Some (and maybe a lot) of guys may want to motorboat in them, but my nice little breasts will look just as sexy when I'm 30, while yours will begin to looking more like those of a 60 year old lady.

5) Tattoos aren't trashy unless they're inappropriate or profane. Period. Tramp stamps included. You don't have to like someones tattoo, but you can deal with them, especially when they're on your significant other. I'm sure there are things about you that they wouldn't mind being different but they manage to love you all the same and cherish your body like you should cherish theirs. They shouldn't NEED permission for one. If you loved them, you'd let them do things that made them happy as long as it didn't take away from the relationships. Period.

6) Men are stupid. Women are stupid for not accepting this. Men are stupid for wondering how a woman could cheat even though they're aware of how a man could. Women are stupid for thinking their innocent victims for forgiving a cheater and having him cheat again. Men are stupid for thinking that a woman can't be so negatively effected by past relationships that (gasp!) they'll have to help them lose their baggage before you can get serious. Women are stupid for not letting go of their baggage on their own.

7) "I want to bang you" "you titties are fucking huge" and any other remark regarding how "sexy" you think a stranger is is NOT a compliment. Period. Maybe it'll help you get into a girls pants, but it's more of an opener to find out if a girl is easy. If you want a girl to feel special, tell her she's special. If you want her to realize how crazy you are about her looks, tell her that. Don't make her feel like a degraded hooker.

8) Why do men fear periods? You're not the one whose hormones suddenly switch, is laying in the bed with cramps and bleeding for 3-7 days. Just play nice, buy us some chocolate (or whatever it is said girl craves on her period. I'm usually more of a soda and salty snacks girl myself) When she snaps at you, just be nice. When she stops being on her period she'll be happy that you were her sweet care-taker when she wasn't at her best. Also, don't purposefully avoid her or blame ANYTHING regarding her behavior/looks/desires on her period. EVER. Some girls may not mind, but it's best to not risk it. I punch Brandon once for telling me "It's okay, it's just because you're on your period"

Seriously. Just don't bring it up. Play nice and just pretend she's sick or something.



I believe that sums up my feelings for today.

I'm starting to get cramps I think. Fuck being a girl.

Harry Potter/Old Ladies Shouldn't Drive/Racoons/Midol Time

I went to see Harry Potter with Brandon today.

I don't want to talk about it's awesomeness, for fear of getting someones hopes to high, just to lead to their incredible disappointment. I also don't want to say it was horrible, for fear of someone not going to see it.

Long story short, just go see it and make up your mind for yourself. It could be fabulous, or it may totally suck. I don't even think I've decided yet.

I miss spending a lot of time with Brandon. Today was kinda nice. I don't miss not being bombarded with sexual innuendos though. It gets old fast. It seems to be a common trait amoungst all the guys I know, and it really turns me off of talking to them. Of all the things in the world to shoot a joke about at random moments, why does it always have to be the easiest and most overdone? Sex isn't funny anymore.

Also, old lady hit a co-workers car not one, but THREE times while trying to go through our drive through in the wrong direction then realizing the vehicles were going the other way, then trying to back out. Three fucking times. She was right next to the van when she was trying to go through the drive through, so she KNEW it was there, and knew she hit it (I don't care how old you are, you know the difference between a small accident and your car not driving farther. If not, you shouldn't be driving) THEN went through the drive through to get food and drove off. Bitch. A few dining room people got her plate number, and gave it to my co-worker along with their numbers in case they needed proof (we got it on our cameras too.)

This is pathetic enough. I already think that most old people need to figure shit out and realize it's time to have their grandchildren drive them around, but what KILLS ME is the fact that the cops just wanted my co-worker to pay for the damage herself and not involve the other vehicle BECAUSE it was an old lady. For one, being old doesn't mean she's sweet. She's probably one of the bitchy old people we have come in there so often. Two, she clearly either KNOWS she hit it, in which case it's a hit and run (illegal; and he's a cop. It's an equation anyone can figure out) or she actually didn't know because of bad vision/senile/on strong old person meds; in which case the bitch needs to have her license taken away. Next time it may not be another vehicle, it may be some kids on their bikes, or crossing the street/parking lot.

The fact that cops don't want to pursue this (if for nothing else, to get her insurance information so the damage can be fixed without my co-workers insurance going up... You know, since the other guy having insurance is specifically so that YOU don't have to pay for damage that THEY do)




On a lighter note. I almost hit a family of Raccoons on my way home today. But I hit my brakes and managed to not even hit one :D yay for cute little critters.

I'm gonna need to go buy some Midol and tampons tomorrow, and some junk food so I can cave up in my room for the weekend.

eBay

Selling on ebay is fucking exhausting.

I only got through one damn listing.

This better be worth it.

I watched Fuck: A Documentary today. It was Fucking Brilliant.

my ears.

I'm getting kind of bored with my 00's. I'm thinking about going a size or two up.
Right now, my ears are the top plug. The one to the right is a 7/16 and the largest is the 1/2 inch. I like the 7/16 a lot, but in the store the 1/2 inch looks SO tempting. I'm also considering just getting a new piercing instead, because if I go 1/2 inch, I'm pretty sure the smallest my ear will shrink back to is 00, whereas right now I'd probably be able to go down to a 2, which I think is the cutest size ever, but cute doesn't get me bitchen tunnels or the wow factor I have when I can look through my ear.

But, like I said, I'm bored with it.

I think I'm going to get 2 inches trimmed off my hair soon. That way I can bleach it and be blond again. I miss that. Then maybe I can spike my mohawk finally. And maybe it'll take my mind off of wanting bigger gauges.

Then again, much bigger than a 00 and I can't wear things like THIS without them being heavy or looking stupid.

Anyway, still getting the Page Load Error. Not as often, but it still pisses me off.

sleep deprived

Finally, after days and days of minimal contact I FINALLY got to see Brandon and talk to him IN PERSON about everything that's going on. It's really hard to get him to listen to me on the phone. By really hard, I mean fucking impossible. We managed last night and a few hours this evening without arguing, but I could tell we were on the verge. I doubt he'll ever understand that we can't be how we were when we were dating. I'm a commitment kind of girl.

I looked at fabric and JoAnn, and I'm pretty sure that I'm going to use their heavy duty house fabrics to make my vesty thing. I'd love to have sleeves and make it a coat, but I don't know how to draft out sleeves, so I'll hold that off for another day. I'd have bought some, but I couldn't decide and I could tell Brandon was getting really bored.

I don't really feel like I'm living right now. Days bleed together. I honestly can't tell one day from another, and all weekends are generally the same. I'm really starting to feel smothered by this place. I can't even take a walk without at least 3 people telling me that they saw me.

It's late. I'm feeling empty and pretty tired.

Over Obsessed

I could quite literally post an Amanda Palmer lyric for ever single problem I go through. Or for every event in my life. Or just for my feelings about certain things. I fear my obsession is a bit too strong, but I always used to envy people who had such strong feelings for something that they could let it consume a part of their life.

The last obsession I had that was this big was my obsession with Buffy the Vampire Slayer (because I totally got over that and wasn't about to splurge all my money on a big book of Buffy fandom that I saw at B&N)

I also really want a bustle-styled coat. And more striped vests like the one I got at Wet Seal. And a few more corsets and some short saloon girl styled skirts. I want to make them. Not the stockings... Maybe attach garter straps to the inside of my skirts though.

I have a vision, of a semi-cropped vest, wide and shapely V neck (I can't stand the straight ones) a little bit of a hood to protect hair from the rain, with a little ruffle along the edge. And a small bustle shape on the back. The whole thing would be black and white striped (or solid black or white or I don't even know) and it would be FABULOUS And I'd wear it fucking everywhere. I think I'm going to Sharpie up a picture of it and post it here and on dA.

I have 2 followers on Twitter. That in itself amazes me. I still only have a few blog readers though.

I suppose if I got much more than that I couldn't keep the title as "shit no one cares about" right?

I'm going to start putting tags for my entries. Maybe they'll be found.

Gaia Online

I seem to always be bored, and always have a list of things that I need to do but really don't NEED to do, and don't really want to either... But there's a list.

Instead of any of that, what do I find myself doing with my free time?

Making new accounts on GaiaOnline.

Page Load Error

Page Load Error

Page Load Error

(connection was reset while contact blah blah blah)

This is my new account, Punk Cabaret is Freedom.
She's replacing The True Amanda Palmer, because I forgot her password (it's written on a piece of paper somewhere, but finding it would literally be impossible)

Now that striped stockings have become really reasonably priced she will definitely have some, and look as Palmer-esque as I can afford :3

This is my main account Vv-missmaryjane-vV She's a Gaian Millionaire.

I also own i is genius, glittergirl024 (my original mule, back before Alandra024 was phished out of my life ;_; ) and Nurse Dazzle.

I'm a gaia tard. I used to spend anywhere from $15-$50 a month on the site, before I went cold turkey on gaia cash.

This is all.

Comso

So, I'm at home and bored, nothing new. I got my new issue of Cosmo today :D (I ripped out the picture of the money with eyes from the Geico ad and taped it to my door cuz i think he's cute)

But anyway, Brandon was supposed to be going to Ft Wayne tonight after hanging out with his friend, and he said he may stop by since it's on his way. I was reading Cosmo's "Cheatproof your love-- with 4 words" and thought "well, maybe this can apply to a friend ship to assure that you aren't blown off anymore. Instead of saying "you look so hot" I figured I could just apply the logic that "I appreciate your friendship"

So I text him, saying something along the lines of being excited about him coming to hang out a little and how I didn't think I could wait til tomorrow night to hang out with him since I missed him.

What happens? The same thing that ALWAYS happens. I end up waiting for a couple hours, asking him where he is and then have him tell me "I'm sorry, my plans changed" and I bring up the fact that I'm upset that he didn't tell me and he goes "sorry, don't hate me :( "

It honestly ALWAYS goes EXACTLY like that. It could just be a fluke. I mean, this issue of Cosmo DOES have Katy Perry one it (ew)... But more likely than that, he's just a lost cause.

When a guy is so clueless and self centered that he's COMSO-PROOF, you know there's nothing you can do.

FML. Even Cosmo can't help me.

Shit

My internet is driving me crazy right now. I keep getting "Page Load Error" nearly EVERY FUCKING TIME. That or "Connection Interrupted"

My internet signal is full, and I'm completely connected. I tried closing out of the browser, trying a different browser, shutting down my computer AND turning it off and have concluded that it's the fucking internet and not my laptop. What's the point of expensive high speed internet if I can't do anything on it?

Besides that, I picked up my application to a Wendy's in a city nearby. My manager said he'd put in a good word for me, and said that since I currently work at a Wendy's there's a good chance I'll get the job. I'm still gonna cross my fingers.

Everything feels kinda shitty right now. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I realized that I'm not doing anything productive at all. I want to, but there's no fucking room for me in my own room. I outgrew living at home a long time ago, but still haven't been able to get the fuck out.

Fucking internet better post this.