Being a cat lady

I talk about my cats like some people talk about their kids. 

And when some people bring up their kids I probably have a similar story about my cats. 

But people give me looks. Some are dirty looks (like how dare I compare my cat to their kid even though they're doing almost the exact same thing) or this smug smile like I'm so delusional and I can't possibly understand the wonders of children and I'm just deluding myself with the whole cat thing. 

When my aunt was pregnant the first time she wished she could give birth to a litter of kittens instead. Even though she loves her kids her pets are still considered family. 

If you don't think your pet is a like a child you don't need to be having a pet. I'm not saying you need to choose what's best for a dog over what's best for your baby (THAT is crazy) but you should have overbearing maternal instincts from them. You should care about them like they're as important as humans. Because they kinda are. 

XoXo,

S

Yesterday I took a friend to her photoshoot. They're actually really boring I'd you aren't the model or photographer. But i like helping people out and it was cool to see. I should have been a little more directive with models when I used to try photogrphy. But tv and all that always makes it look like you just take pictures while a model randomly picks poses. 

Nope. 

Then I had a shadow of a migraine. The "aura" but that's normal. 

Went to get a tattoo. It only took an hour and it's gorgeous. But my migraine did an ultra progression and for the first time ever I threw up not once, but 3 times. Every time I drank water. Every time I took pills. Half of what I threw up occurred when my stomach was dry. Throwing up food with no stomach acids is fucking awful. 

And I contemplated going to the hospital but I can't afford a couple grand just to maybe get an IV and maybe a Tylenol. 

And I still have a headache today. But I'm eating and drinking just fine. 

Aaron drove me home so I can't go get more A&D for my tattoo OR excedrin or even have my yarn that I left in my car. I couldn't drive myself though on account of light sensitivity and throwing up a lot. 

Fuck my day. It was awesome and really awful at the same time. 

XoXo,

S

I always listen, but I speak to deaf ears.

Jesus fucking Christ, you're literally supposed to be the person I can talk to and open up with. But you don't even let me. 

It's like I get to the thesis statement of my research paper and you disliked my wording or punctuation or you just don't care for the subject so you write a contradictory remark and give it an f. 

And god forbid I try to argue this grade with you. God forbid I try to bring up this whole idea and try to explain my paper to you and why you should read it. You'll just repeat that remark. 

It's not even maliciously. Maybe you think you're being cute or flirty. But it ISNT a research paper. They're my thoughts and feelings and things that I want to share with you. I don't open up to many people. I don't even try. And you just shoot me down when I try with you. 

The one person who is supposed to listen. 

The difference between Internet memes and statistics/facts

(I wrote this before my last post but my phone never publishes from home?)

I really hate when Obama haters post really stupid and factless shit to "prove their point." 

A photo of Obama golfing next to a photo of Bush reading to kids? Yes. I'm sure that Obama never does anything but golf and vacation. Bush never golfed or had fun ever. He always was out doing good deeds which Obama never ever does. This photo is equal to statistics because you put two real photos next to each other. 

So if I take a photo of you on the toilet and put it next to a photo of me working in a homeless shelter and put then next to one another on Facebook it means that I'm a good person always doing good stuff (even though I'm usually watching Netflix) and you just spend your life shitting. It's not even an inaccurate statement since people actually spend a good part of their life on the toilet and maybe I do occasionally help the needy. So yep. I'm a good amazing person and you just shit a lot. 

Yep. Those are facts. 

More Facebook logic.

I get so confused by Facebook sometimes. 

 

Someone shared a post that said that congress should focus on jobs for veterans instead of jobs for illegal aliens. 

How is congress focusing on jobs for illegal aliens? You need a work visa to work here if you aren't a legal citizen. If you have a work visa you aren't an illegal alien. You just aren't a citizen. You're totally legal. You have to be to get it. This will keep looping until you get the point. Congress can't make/find/give jobs to illegal aliens unless it stops being illegal to hire them. As far as I know congress isn't making it legal for illegal people to work nor are the finding jobs for LEGAL immigrants with work visas. (That I'm aware of). 

Maybe if they fall into the category of unemployed. In which case I'm pretty sure veterans are also able to seek help in employment. It's not really a complicated thing to grasp. 

If you want congress to make a special unemployment office for former veterans I'm all for that. Sure. But illegal immigrants have nothing to do with it. They aren't battling for jobs via congress. Bringing immigrants up makes you seem a little... I do to know, racist?

Actually really nervous about next weeks check because of all the times we got sent home early this week. It'll be like 150 short. Going to try to hold back on spending except for gas and food this week so I have some of this left over. Because I owe my dad $300 of that check. And 270 of the one after. Not even sure if I'll get to work next week depending on if they lay off one of the shifts. Hopefully they'd keep 2nd and lay off 3rd but who the hell knows how they decide this stuff. 2nd is the most productive at the moment with the least error so I'd hope we aren't effected. Not fully at least. 

Oh, even with a good paying job you get all sorts of money worries. 

XoXo, 

S

When poor people don't live up to your expectations

You wish you had an iPhone like that girl with food stamps? Have someone in your family who's willing to fucking buy you one. Go in to get a phone when they're having g a good sale. Have an older model to trade in (I bought a 4 off my sister for $50 at Christmas and when I traded it in late spring for a 5, the latest model at the time, and changed my plan to sprint I got the phone for $30. If you can afford a fucking video game or fast food you can afford $80 over the span of 5 months). 

Don't assume that someone who has something you don't just blows money on things. Maybe, just maybe, she doesn't drink Starbucks every day. Maybe she got it to treat herself. Maybe she has a friend who does acrylic nails ( or does them herself, it's not hard). Maybe her purse is a fake and she lied because you were being a harsh judgement piece of shit towards her because she doesn't have a lot of money and you think that means she should be in rags and have a government cell phone. 

I had a phone that wasn't a smart phone for a while. It cost me $200 out of pocket just for the phone, and as much per month as my smart phone and data plan had costed. Plus hidden new phone turn on fees. My iPhone experience took $150 total and that's because I got an otter box and some insurance for my phone. You could easily get the case cheaper and from somewhere else. 

And they sell fake name brand clothes everywhere for as cheap as Walmart shit. And then there's goodwill, where I've found a $60 shirt with the tags still on it for $5. 

Why would you really be so concerned with someone looking like they have money when they don't? Maybe because you're a judgemental piece of shit. Yeah, probably not your sense or moral and social justice. Just you being a bag of dicks. 

Afterthought

I just had a passing thought about my ex Michael.

He used to claim he had seizures whenever I tried to break up with him. At first in the relationship he'd just collapse on the floor, but the day I actually had my bags out the door his eyes rolled back and he had a seizure. 

Or so I thought. But as I sit here (feeling sick to my stomach STILL whenever I think of that disgusting pos) I can't help but feel he faked every one. Because the first time he did it I wasn't sure what to do or what happened so put my head to his chest to see if I could hear a heart beat since he didn't seem to be breathing. But once he "regained consciousness" he was really shitty with me about it. He bitched me out, asking what I thought I'd accomplish by doing it. 

Like, at the time that whole thing was so crazy and I'd never experienced that shit so I didn't even think about it, but if he actually had a seizure and was actually passed out he wouldn't have fucking known I layed my head on his chest to begin with. 

Was he faking to see if I cared enough to call 911? Was he faking to guilt me into staying? both, probably. He liked to test me constantly. And there was never a right thing to do so obviously I always failed no matter what. 

But I was just thinking about this so I thought I'd write it out. I'm not doing a personal tumblr anymore because too much triggering shit pops up on my dash, but I still have here, where it's just my own bullshit and no one else's. 

XoXo,

S

Why is it... That you only argue with me. You can even disagree with the person I'm arguing with but not bother to step in and aid me with the argument. 

But if I'm trying to say something? You'll go out of your way to miss the point of what I'm saying to pick and and argue over how I said something I said isn't 100% true or my opinion on that trivial thing isn't accurate. You'll ignore the whole point I'm trying to make to do this. Every time. 

But damn, wouldn't want to argue WITH me. 

(Literally only said that legal prostitution was usually cleaner than legal porn, because porn isn't strictly regulated as most are ameteur, and prostitutes in areas that sex work is legal ARE regulated.) 

But no. Clearly I don't deserve to be defended. Not even in this. If I said all prostitution and all porn? Maybe it'd be a different story. But I literally watched a fairly recent documentary on this. But whatever. 

XoXo,

S

I just have this overwhelming need to cry and I hope I don't break down before I get to my car when I'm off work on 4 hours.