The Struggle

I'm finally starting to come down from my love high. why? because Brandon is DETERMINED to get another cop car. I told him we don't need one. I told him that we're already saving our money for OTHER things, like, idk, FIXING THE DAMN FLOOR. 3/4 of the floor boards are in horrible shape in the dining room/my future room. I know HE doesn't care if the floor caves in (he said he'd just nail some boards over it. knowing him, he'd nail a bunch of 2X4's over it. fuck that. and he honestly thinks he could sell his house for the 60,000 it's supposed to be worth?)... But I do. And if I don't pay for it, it won't get done. But why should I throw myself into a financial crisis for HIS house, when I don't really get anything out of it. I AM paying to live there.

So while I'm paying $1200 for his floor, he's buying himself another vehicle. what happened to the money he was saving for me? Does it sound selfish that I actually want to get something out of me getting him a new floor? and by new floor I'm not in any way exagerating. We're ripping up the wood floor then ripping up the base floor. The whole room will be open to the dirt below the foundation. I'm replacing ALL of that, because it'll all need to be replaced. I'm also gonna fix whatever it is that caused the problem. something is obviously leaking.

But what do I get in return? Brandon buying himself another car. I he had told me he was done with senseless spending. But I know better than to think that I can talk brandon out of buying something once he's decided that he wants it. I could flat out tell him no, and he'd still buy it and try to hide it in the garage, and when I found out claim that he didn't know I didn't want him to buy it/ say he got it a while ago :\ he's really bad with money.

I'm not gonna let financial issues cause me to fuck my relationship up. I forget the exact percentage, but a really high percentage of relationships end because of finanacial issues of some form. I suppose as long as I get my god damn X Stage I'll be happy. I will, however, refuse to move in with him until he promises to make sure the floor will be taken care of.

Just to show that I'm not a TOTAL money-tard, these are my priorities money-wise (I haven't spent money on anything but food this whole week)

1. Phone bill
2. My part of Brandon's electric bill
3. new tires (i need 2, jacob got me two for free)
4. saving for the floor
5. getting some money for a safety net. Cuz we never know what will happen.



I've woken up with a headache every day this week. Once I sit up it hits me hard. I'd be worried about it, but the weather is so shitty that I can't say that it isn't a factor. It always fades a bit, but a regular morning headache is only normal for the coffee addicted.

yay life :\
<3
S