Friends and Futures

I've been listening to the Violent Femmes tonight. I actually really like them. Who'd have thought?

But really. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. About friends, and my future.

The only conclusion I've come to is that if people honestly can't accept me at my worst (ha, as if this is anywhere near my worst) then they don't deserve me at my best... buuut, if I cut out everyone that can't take me at my worst I'm going to be one lonely fucking person. It blows my mind that people can be shitty to their friends and keep them, but I can't be shy without being called a bitch.

As for my future. Fuck this place, and fuck Indianapolis. I WANT to live in New York, and I'm GOING to move to New York. I'm going to start college, but like hell if I'm going to finish. I'll make my own way. Lets face it, no job really interests me, so wouldn't it be more ideal for me to take on lots of little random jobs to make ends meet? Isn't being a starving artist what I've always wanted? Exactly. And where can you possibly go that you could get more acceptance than New York? I'm bound to find at LEAST a small group of friends.

I'm working on a letter to Michael Alig. I don't even know what to say to him, but I want to see if he writes back. Hopefully, if he gets out soon, he'll keep New York as his home and I'll run into him someday. It'd be kinda awesome.

fuck you all,
S