Me and Jacob had a good long talk. He said that he really likes Becki, I told him I didn't want her to hurt him, he told me that meant a lot to him. But I told him that it's up to him, and not to take my opinion too seriously, because he knows what he wants more than I do.
Later we were talking again about the same topic. He said that he likes her, but if she doesn't like him he'll be cool with just having sex.
I don't fucking get him. He TOLD me he didn't want to let her screw him over because he really liked her, but if she's not interested he's okay with it?
Whatever. Me and him hung out a lot this weekend. I made my first ever duct tape wallet and Jacob hasn't stopped laughing since. It really is awful though.
I found out that Brandon went to go see the Dark Knight again with Greg. It wouldn't bother me so much, but me and him planned on doing that on the 8th, we had a whole day planned out for us. I mean, we -could- go see it again, but before we went the first time some people at work were trying to get me to go with them, and I told them no, because Brandon and I already had plans to see it some other time. But even though me and him had plans it didn't matter, he went anyway.
Maybe I really do just expect too much from people in general. Like how I always expect Brandon to tell me not just the truth, but the whooooole truth. He has a problem with that.
Of course, he expects me to feel so horrible when I 'hurt him' by being upset by something he does or says, but when I tell him that something upsets me I'm just told that I overreact. Or told that "you're fake tears aren't gonna make me feel bad for you" even though I really am crying, and it only makes me feel shittier that he doesn't care.
Maybe I'm just pissy because I'm gonna be on my period in a few days
or maybe it's just because I haven't seen Brandon since Saturday (when he was at work, I'd like to point that out, cuz it's really not the same)
Or maybe I still just don't know what the fuck to think about Jacob and Becki or the fact that they're gonna be having sex whether they mean something to each other or not.
Fuck it all. I just wanna see my baby, but he doesn't even have time to text me back.
Been mostly alone this weekend. I fucking hate being here.
much angst
s
oh, the other day I was talking to my friend from Istanbul, and he's been saying that I -really- need to go there because it's sooo beautiful... then I realised that he didn't mean to visit. He wanted me to move there with him.... I told him I had a boyfriend. I guess I didn't realize he was flirting, cuz I can't understand his english. . . Proving once again that I can't have guy friends.
1 comment:
Becki is a slut. You should inform Jacob of her stds. What happened to him and Brooke? Why am I not informed!?
And, I don't think you're overreacting. I'd be the same way. I'd hit patrick if he accused me of fake tears when i wasn't obviously faking. And I'd get angry with him if he screwed up our plans to see a movie together for the first time like Brandon did to you.
I don't think you expect too much. The whole truth is definately not too much to expect. That boy needs to start telling you the whole truth, otherwise he's practically sabotageing the relationship with lies! (sorry, i don;t like lies) I don't think i could be in a relationship (not just boyfriend/girlfriend kind... the friend kind or the family kind too) if it was founded on lies. I couldn't take the untrust. But that's just me and my point of view.
And, when did you meet a guy from istanbul?
much love.
m
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