The Struggle

I feel.... numb.

i dont feel like capitalizing and punctuating

i dont know why i wrote that i just... i dont even know

lies lies lies

everyone is full of them

who can you trust then?

no one can prove that they are worthy of it

people try to help you through your problems when really its up to only you. ultimately you are the only person who can solve them and fix them and make things right in your world

but still everyone turns to everyone else and so on.

I don't know what the fuck I'm even saying. everything just hurts right now.

It feels like time has been wasted, and like emotions... well. why feel?

All the WKAP signed copies are sold out, because i haven't been home to pre-order before they did. More time wasted. I could have has it... is the $100 package worth it without signed items? Oh well, I already filled out the order form and I'm too lazy to fill it out again for something else. I'll just get it.

Why does he lie? Why do I let him do this to me?

I feel so numb. I can't cry anymore. I just want this to all go away. things were getting better. We seemed happier, and haven't fought and he still does this? after all I've done to try to make him feel better about his dad. I've dedicated the past week to him... and all of that was wasted time and money.

everything I do is a waste.