I unzipped the files. I put them in my music folder. I haven't touched them yet. I go through this every time Amanda comes out with something new. EVERY album after The Dresden Dolls self titled album (and even A is for Accident, because I didn't get it until a year or so ago.) I'm nervous. I'm damn near terrified that I won't like it. That there will be songs that I'm not in love with. That I won't connect with it the way I have with all of her music in the past. I've even been afraid to read her blog recently (although, I get over it and click the links and read it anyway, feeling relieved that all is well in my world of loving Amanda.)
I'm afraid that I've built up such a strong admiration for her that there's no way she'll be able to live up to my expectations, and that if she doesn't my world will fall apart and leave me with nothing but an emptiness that can no longer be filled.
I feel like this every time. I always feel so relieved when I finally bite the bullet, and so retarded for not listening/reading/watching sooner, but it never stops me from feeling the same way in the future.
I'm thinking this is a slightly unhealthy relationship to be having with music/a musician. Not that I don't like it this way. I'm just sayin'.
After I finish my reading and my "favorite and least favorite moments in pop culture" paper for my G&S in PCult class I'm going to do a little resume building (I only got 3 hours this week. Not fucking cool) a little job searching, and work on my first few Fashion and Feminism articles. Once I get a good idea of what I want to do with it I'm going to work on making it a real thing. I have loads of ideas, I'm just afraid to put them into action. Like, will this make me less of a feminist? Will I lose the respect of OTHER feminists for making a fashion blog, even if it's geared towards the love of self expression BY feminists? I don't want to lose my feminism credibility before I even get my WOST degree.
XoXo,
S
No comments:
Post a Comment