April 23, 2009

not my home, betch

I feel very unproductive. I haven't done anything since I got back here. I've been looking at how to make things. It's nice to think about, but I already have all those things for hemp necklaces that I'm no longer using. I want to make wool dreads. and sew, and play piano and draw and photograph and get off my ass and do something. But there's nothing I really want to do while sitting in my brothers room. Everything I CAN do will just make a big mess anyway. I want a fucking room in this house. This isn't my home right now, it's a fucking place where I sit and live.

I just need my own space, my own area to be alone and do shit that makes me not feel like a counterproductive piece of shit.

Being back is the worst thing I've ever experienced. I hate it here.

<3
s

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