I'm so confused. kinda heart broken. I don't have anyone to talk about it with. I don't know if I should cry or apologize and forget about everything and just pretend to be happy or pack up and go home. Either be alone and where I want or be stuck with a companion.
Maybe it really is just time. Maybe relationships just have an expiration date. It just feels too wrong to walk away though. Even when I was angry I just wanted him to swear to be better and say that he loved me and it was okay. I didn't think it'd be the day where everything fucked up. I honestly thought things were going to be okay after we talked about it. I just wanted us to be together. I don't want to go home tonight. I thought I'd have a reply from him by now and I just realized that it's only been 30 minutes.
But I can't help but feel betrayed after all I did for him. I didn't need anything but love and faithfulness in return. I saw him every day on his break while he was in jail. I trusted him... But I haven't seen any proof with my own eyes, but I also trust Rachel and Tonya. Maybe I really can't trust anyone. Not Brandon, not my family or friends or co-workers. It seems like everyone just wants to manipulate me. Or maybe just Him. I don't even know anymore. I just wish he's text me his response. I swear I could break down and cry right now in taco bell but I'm too good at holding my emotions back.
Maybe my brother will come talk to me. I just need someone to talk to.
<3
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