Taking Friend Applications

I'm kinda drunk. And I feel like I'm drunk enough to admit that I'm lonely as fuck. All I have in my life is my boyfriend. I can't seem to find people to befriend. The people I already know are hard to hang out with. I'm super introverted so parties and raves and other group hangouts (someone I want to be closer friends to regularly has a bunch of people over to play some werewolf card game, but I can't be around so many people. It's way too much for me).

How do you meet people? How do you make friends? Have conversations? I've been a lot more talkative at work lately, practicing being social again, but I work with mostly high schoolers and adults who have different tastes in fun than myself. I actually rarely drink despite what my night may lead someone to believe. I don't really like going to bars unless I'm already with friends. Which is never. Fucking never. I'm starving for human attention. And friendly affection. I need silly and ridiculous people in my life. I have no one. Except my boyfriend.

I want to put on my silly goth outfits and my fun fuzzy hats and go shopping and just hang out at a mcDonald's to knit and crochet and eat shitty foods and enjoy $1 tea. Is that really asking so much? Why is it so hard to find that in an adult? I'd hang out with my high school friends, but being 8 years younger than myself, I start to notice how fucking old I actually am. And it sucks trying to hang out with people who still have to obey their parents and who can't hang out when I'm available because they're in school.

I met no one in college. I mean, I met stacy, but she's kinda been a distant friend without me being on campus anymore. And we never really hung out when we weren't on campus. And Tara even defriended me on facebook.

Am I really so hard to get along with? I'm so much more friendly and positive than I used to be.

Why do I have to happen upon all close friends by CHANCE? when will this next chance meeting happen, and will they move away 6 months later again?

Seriously. I'm lonely. I have a lot of loyalty and terrible jokes and general awkwardness to offer, and there isn't a single taker.

Fuck, I need to not drink this much wine at once. But I haven't been sleeping well. I just wanted to sleep well tonight. snvc.,MZNSDck.MNZSBcv.kjzsnbdvcxkjznbscxkvjbnZSD>Kjvcbzlskdjbvzkjsbcxnvk.ZN/l  aoiwhef ;lkasjhdf ;lkajhfd i;m frehyinf ro type with bear mittens on anad I;m not doin g too bad.(I'm trying to type with bear mittens on and I'm not doing too bad, in case you were wondering. Not bad for drunk AND wearing the bear mittens on this bear scoodie. See, I'm wearing a bear hat with bear paws at the end of scarf like things. I HAVE A LOT TO OFFER A FRIEND. why does no one like this? I can be fun, damn it).

XoXo,
S

(sorry if I sound pathetic. it's been eating me up inside. I long for a girl who's weird in the same ways that I am who wants to do the same nothings as me.)