Dear New Parents,
I don't want to be the bitch that points this out, but having kids doesn't exclude you from being someone's friend. It doesn't mean you don't have to try or that you can neglect staying in contact with them.
Most friends understand that you won't be able to go shopping every weekend, or hang out every day. Or talk on the phone with them a lot and give them as much attention as you used to. You have a little bundle of joy that will require a lot of your time and effort for at least 6 years before you can finally take a nap when they're awake. I know there are exceptions with these friends since some people are needy, however the chances are that you thought they were needy before you popped a kid out.
But you still have basic obligations. You still need to eventually reply to that text. Unless your children are monsters (which, I know some are. Two of my cousins can't go 5 seconds without breaking or trying to eat something) you have absolutely no reason to not keep in touch with someone you call a friend.
My friend lives over an hour away, and had her very first child after a very complicated pregnancy and works full time (plus overtime) along with her husband. She makes time. She's not neglecting her kid in the least bit. If you ask her a question or try to make plans she's more than happy to. Now, will her baby be there? Probably. But does that actualy matter? No.
I'm not going to say your friends should come first (especially over your own kid), but if you've been close with someone for 20 years and can't seem to find 2 seconds to catch up with them every week or so, YOU don't deserve THEM.
It's really all up to you parents to decide. But if you can't make time for friends and they move on after feeling upset about it, don't blame them. Don't be mad at them. Don't tell them that they didn't deserve you or that you're better off. They're gone because you actively chose to not give them 10 minutes of your day or week. They're not gone because they're selfish. They're gone because what's the point of having a friend if they're literally never there for you. Can you really blame them?
XoXo,
S
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