drifting

The hopeless romantic inside me had been rekindled, I think. Everything feels so amazing.

Micheal still looms over me though. I think about him a lot. Not in a romantic way, just in a guilt filled way. I wish I had ended it with him a long time ago. No one deserves the kind of misery brought on by a relationship like the one we had. It wasn't my first time in one, and I guess I didn't learn the first time. I hope he finally moves on. I hope good things happen for him. I really want to blame everything on him, and tell people how badly he treated me and how much of an ass hole he was. How he gossiped constantly, even about people he said were his friends... But honestly I can't blame someone for being themselves. I'm the one who should have been honest to myself and gotten out of the relationship before it got so far out of hand.

I'm trying to not think about all of that though, because at night I have the arms of the sweetest guy on the planet around me. I've never met someone so genuinely caring like him. I could stare into his eyes forever. For a long while I was someone I wasn't happy with. I felt so bitter and angry all the time and everything irritated me. I'm feeling that leave now. I'm feeling good.

XoXo,
S