rambles

Am I the only person who played with Barbies that doesn't want to be one? I mean, I like pink and glamour and I'd love to have a nicer body... But I don't want to be Barbie. I don't want HER body. I want a thinner version of MY body. Big hips, small waist, small chest. Teh bewbs only bother me because I'm so chunky that having A cups is inconvenient to find clothing for. Thin the rest of me down to my high school weight and I'd still be having trouble, but not as much, and more clothes would fit more closely to my size.

anyway. I want an instant camera. Badly. And I want to get my hair trimmed to get rid of all the dead. I need to find some time to do that. Fuck, I should be doing homework right now and I'm not cuz I'm wasting my time online looking at Barbies and cameras and holding my tongue on an argument over people's rights relating to health care and the company providing it (because, I don't care if a church is providing the health care, they should provide contraceptives if the people want them. Fuck it, I just spoke my peace anyway).

I feel weird and sick and dizzy and my heart is beating awkwardly (at least it FEELS that way). I had a migraine starting earlier but I took an Excedrin with some Code Red and chilled until it went away. I can't organize my thoughts right now though, but I feel like talking, you know? I want to MAKE something. Draw. I don't know. Fucking anything. I had a dream that I got a tattoo on my other shoulder blade It was a girls facial profile looking towards the center of my back. It was pretty cool. Then in W233 I drew it out a bit, and had it so that her hair was aquas and greens and flowed onto my arm making a quarter sleeve oceaneque design with star fish and bubble and stuff. It sounds a lot prettier than what I actually drew, mind you.

My hair color is all sorts of fucked up. Awkward blondish brownish coppery shit. I don't want to dye it because I have like 3 inches of roots to cherish, but it'll be at least a year before this grows out to the same length my hair is now, and I'm trying to get somewhere below my shoulderblades but above the small of my back (I don't want my hair to get caught in my studded belts. That would be a pain.)

A girl came into wendy's the other day with natural waist length hair. I wanted to gush over it to her but usually when people have prominent desirable features they've heard it a million times. It'd only either inflate their ego or make them go "lol, no I'm totally ugly" like pretty girls do sometimes.

I've been dieting. So far I've eating a bag of skittles, 2 Code Reds and some Coney Island and some Wendy's. So yeah, not really doing well. Plus I still don't work out. I need to find a diet pill that actually works  to bennefit you while you work out.

Aaaaand now I have to go pick Jon up from work so
XoXo,

S