in the bank

Despite the fact that I have still been eating out every day and putting gas in my car... I have money in my savings account. Quite a bit. Not even just my extra money left over from my loans. I could fucking cry. I've barely curbed my day to day spending. I guess this underlines the fact that my real problem was that my former significant other made me buy his food every day, and made me use my car and gas to take HIM to school every day, and that he wanted to go shopping and spending money and pressured me into buying things I otherwise wouldn't have.

I still eat out, like I said. Same places. Every day. I still buy stuff. I still splurge here and there (got me and the man some fancy cake and got him a coffee from the cafe next door yesterday) and I'm still putting gas in the tank.

The amount of comfort I feel... Knowing I can afford to change the oil in my car in a few weeks... And knowing I can buy tampons. And that I'm not breaking the bank by eating. Fuck, I feel so good. I was miserable over the fact that I was living paycheck to paycheck for so long, eating away at my savings account... There's stuff there now. I can afford to pay my brother $75 more from what I owe him. I'll probably have him paid back with my next 3 checks and then I can start working on paying my other bills. Pretty soon I'll be able to afford to go back to Planned Parenthood to take care of the yeast infection I'm pretty sure I have, and to find a good method of birth control for me.

Side note on the birth control... Why do guys act like they get it? Like it's just some magical simple thing and you're safe and everything is fine. There's pros and cons to EVERY birth control. Every single one. No ONE birth control can be taken by all girls. You have to find the one with the side effects you don't mind, that does what you want it to. The pill requires you to remember to take it every day, and on top of that there are so many different kinds that it feels wrong blanketing them all under "the pill" like it's one thing. Some cause women more pain than they can handle, and harsh periods. Some won't.

Choosing a birth control is a trial and error thing. yes, the shot last for 3 months, but that also means if it doesn't agree with you and you're one of  the lucky girls who gets a heavier and more cramped period because of it you'll expect to have those symptoms for a good 4 months. That means that she wastes a quarter of her year suffering because the guy didn't want to mess with the pills or other methods because it's easier? fuck that. The Ring seems to be the most likely method for me, since the pill seems a little fucking iffy (everyone in my family all the way back to my grandma has gotten pregnant while taking the pill correctly. Maybe we're just fertile.) The shot doesn't seem worth the wait just for convenience. The patch sounds ridiculous. I'd much rather be rendered infertile, but who's actually going to do that one for me? And at least with the ring I can just put another one in when I take the last one out and not have a period anymore and eventually not have spotting in between either. I don't care if a little round rubber ring floating in my vagina weirds out my partner. He's not the one with the vagina.

ANYWAY I have a little lump of cash growing in my savings. I'll hopefully just get good money on my tax return and use it for my debt and save the rest (or splurge on account of me still wearing shirts from high school?) who knows.

XoXo,
S