I got my hair lightened and toned yesterday, to a very light (lighter than I’ve ever had) blonde.
It’s quite the opposite of what you’d think being a blonde would do to a person. I feel self-conscious. I feel less attractive, like I’m not naturally pretty enough to be a blonde (well, I just plain don’t feel pretty anymore. I need to start taking better care of my skin. Normally I don’t bother to care though.) But I looked in the mirror, felt unattractive and felt the need to both do my hair AND wear make-up to feel better about myself. I ate a cookie for breakfast, and now I feel like a fat ass.
Why is being the “most desired hair color” have such an opposite effect on me?
I like reds, I look ho as a red head. Sadly they look really dirty if you don’t wash your hair every day, and I fucking don’t. I do enough bad things to my hair, I don’t need to do that too. Obviously I pull off brunette, it’s my natural, I have the eyebrows for it. (speaking of, I need to pluck my. I feel unkept with them a little over grown.) and I love having bright crazy unnatural colors because they make me feel –good- for some reason.
Not blonde though. I think back in high school when I felt good as a blonde it was irrelevant because I wore make-up on a daily basis anyway and was thinner than I am now. Maybe me self esteem has just been tumbling and this is just the first it’s really hit me.
I need a new tattoo 
XoXo,
S
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