June 30, 2013

Damn (found this unpublished from earlier this month?)

Can I just like... Be alone forever? 

Date someone who isn't obsessed with video games or who isn't painfully lazy? 

I get that I get behind in things. Sometimes I can't get out of bed. That has nothing to do with me being lazy. I don't like bein awak because I feel so much more when I sleep. Being Awake seems to mean feeling nothing or feelings sadness. I may have a good conversation and I may do something fun and smile or whatever, but literally the moment it's done I just want to go back to sleep because all the joy is gone instantly. 

And now I've just been feeling insecure. And fat and ugly. I feel like everything is wrong with me and I do t want to force other people to be around the huge mess that defines who I am. 

XoXo,
S

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