And here comes the breakdown

I'm so done. Why is it 2 in the fucking morning? I want to blow up at someone. NO FUCKING SERIOUSLY.

It's not going to be me. It's never going to be me. I get it. I keep trying but I get it. So why can't you fucking stop if it's not going to be me? Why can't I just live my happy lonely life and be left alone to do so? Why do you have to keep making me fucking miserable. You make me fucking crazy. I have a hard enough time keeping myself intact without this. Does it make you happy to do this to people? No really, you have to know what the fuck you're doing. Does it make you fucking happy to hurt people like this? Does anything actually fucking matter to you? Does anyone?

I don't act like this with other people. I don't act like this even when I'm jealous. The amount of distrust mixed with how badly I want to trust you just blows my fucking sanity away.

FOR THE LOVE OF ANY DEITY WILL YOU PLEASE JUST NOT BE IN MY LIFE? No amount of happiness you've ever given me makes up for the misery I have when you're here.

XoXo,
S