Me and Mohawks.

Just throwing out old pictures of me and my relationship with mohawks. These are all from 2008-2010, none are of the most recent, but I thought I'd give something to look at with all this writing.

This is a photo of a picture from my laptop. I think from 2008. I was at a bad place in my life them. Cutting the first mohawk was really freeing for me. I started standing up for myself because I realized I could do whatever the hell I wanted to for myself.   I stopped feeling like a victim with the guy I was dating and eventually got out of the whole mess.

I had let that mohawk grow out for a guy because I was desperate to feel whole again after getting hurt in my last serious relationship (which was my first). That ended quickly enough and I was having a shit time finding a good guy, but ultimately decided to take the plunge again and shave the hawk back... because the guy I'd just left had said that no guy would ever love me like that. He took my confidence away with that statement an I wanted it back.

And then BAM. I started college and  instantly drew a lot of positive attentionJUST because of my hair.  I had spent a good part of the previous year of my life feeling isolated and rejected while trying to fit in. I stopped caring and everything fell into place.

To top it off, my mohawk is actually what attracted my new boyfriend to me in the first place. After being told no one could love me for who I am... I found Rob.

And then I ruined that. I hit a depression and then I broke up with him and started dating another guy. I started growing my hair out and the guy was a huge dick and I went through was was possibly the worst situation in my life. I won't go there anymore, it's the past, but I lost so much of myself for a really long time.  

New Years Eve of 2011, I finally got out of that relationship and started to get back on my feet, but I still felt like I was missing a part of myself. I wasn't emotionally ready for the relationship I had gotten into. It ended pretty badly this last summer, but through it all I found my old ex. The one I had met when I started college, the guy who I left because I couldn't handle my depression. We've been together again since July, and I'm on mohawk number 3 now.

It just feels right. The hair I mean. The relationship too, but I never feel more free than I do with my hair shaved. 

It's cheesey, but it's like Lady Gaga said, I am my hair. It's how I express myself. I've never been more in love with myself than I am the way I am right now. I have an entire blog dedicated to my hair (I've linked to it in the past). I can't find anything in the world sexier than a mohawk. :)

The point of this? I was looking at pictures of myself and reminiscing about the life I've lived. I blog about it, but I'm not always really open about my personal life. I guess I want to be a little more personal now. On occasion.

XoXo,
S