I just did a run down of my last few posts to see what I haven't caught my blog up on. A lot. I haven't been posting. My internet isn't working for some reason and normally I'd just sit there and feel sad but I actually got on the phone and tried getting it fixed, but after 3 days and a lot of waiting I still got nothing. next time I call I'm probably just going to tell them to drag their happy asses out here to fix it, because obviously they can't do it from their desk otherwise it'd be fixed (there are only so many things you can do from there, right? And I'd assume that after saying it's been weeks, and having multiple calls in they'd decide to just try all those things, right? So the last resort would be to have them come out and do it, right? right? I don't want to raise my voice in frustration. I understand they're trying to help me out. I know the techs aren't responsible for everything that goes wrong with the internet, and that they're there to fix it. but still. 2 weeks? Fix it already.
Ha, funny I should say that since they just called me. And they were out there to fix it and they did some work outside the house and if it isn't working when I come home from work tonight they'll head out some day when I'm home to work on it inside. Thanks guys :')
I'm posting from my boyfriends laptop which makes me a little uncomfortable. The site will be in his browsing history and all that. I don't want to feel like I'm trying to hide something but I also keep this pseudo-privately, ya know?
I broke up with Jon. I'm with Rob again. That's the only aspect of my life that feels consistently good right now. Me being with Rob at least. I feel bad about Jon. I hope he's okay. The rest of my life feels like someone shattered me onto the sidewalk. Like an overpriced smart phone that they can't afford to replace.
It's not all bad. Mostly my money problems. I just paid the $150 bill for my phone from a month ago. Got $81 more to go for the bill that came after that and I'll be caught up (even if it's only temporarily). Then I have a $150 bill to knock out from the doctor, a $50 payment for a different doctor bill, and $60ish for the internet bill that I just got. Plus keeping gag in the tank and food in the fridge. I'm so glad i have a boyfriend who has a job (even if he isn't taking home an insane amount of cash) who can help me with paying for food. So fucking grateful. I'm going to glomp him when I see him tonight. I've started to turn him Brony. He's fighting it, but I was playing Animal Crossing while Ponies played on my laptop and I had to call for him 3 times to get him to look at what I was trying to show him. :) heck yes.
He's added inspiration to my life. I hope I keep this one because he makes me happy. Not because I'm afraid of being alone, or because I think I can't do better or because I think we help each other. I just genuinely want to keep him in my life because I was so happy and so free when I was with him before, and I feel it again now. With half of my head shaved, wearing lots of black, and doing little artsy crap. It's awesome.
Going to try to push the positive back in. :)
XoXo,
S
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