For whatever reason, I was thinking today...
About my birthday party that I had in high school my freshman year. I think I only invited 3 people.
I baked cookies and had party food and candy and the tv all ready for movies. Everyone told me they wouldn't be there til later, and I was fine with that. I was incredibly bored though.
I went inside to use the bathroom and to walk around (when I'm restless I like to walk around without a purpose) and mom asked me if anyone was here yet. When I told her no she asked me if I was sure they were even coming, and maybe they lied to me and didn't plan on showing up at all.
I'd never once doubted that any of them were going to show. I loved and trusted them because in the 3 or so months that I'd know them they had become be best friends I'd ever had. But then there was my mom, trying to push doubt on me; trying to hurt that confidence I had in them. I was upset by this. I stayed in the garage the rest of the night until everyone got there because I didn't understand how my mom could think such terrible things about those people. And maybe her words had worked a little and I felt a bit of doubt. More in myself than then. Why would they want to come over for my birthday? It would make much more sense in comparison to my past friends if they hadn't wanted to come over at all.
Obviously everyone showed. I still remember how sure my mom was that they wouldn't. Not vindictively, she felt bad, but she genuinely believed that I didn't really have friends.
XoXo,
S
3 comments:
I remember that party. But I only remember you, me, and k. Who was the third person you invited?
It was a girl I was friends with in middle school. Skinny with really light blonde hair. She was pretty quiet so I guess she was easy to forget.
I sort of remember her now, but I can't picture her face. But that was seven years ago, and it's hard to tell a genuine memory apart from something I just made up.
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