Disconnection

Disconnection used to be a god send. A temporary freedom from whatever it was that I was going through. Or maybe I just remember wrong. It's like things just aren't clicking, nothing is processing right. I'm trying to reconnect everything, but it just isn't fucking working and I'm tired of the constant pressure and numbness and how hard it is for me to sleep and function.

The weather doesn't help, I hate the winter.

When was the last time I felt right? I can't even readjust to myself enough to enjoy the things I used to. Or, anything really.

Fuck, I used to blog once every day, sometimes twice. I haven't even been able to do that.

I need to go take pictures. I need my model back. I need my life to be put back in order.

I miss Indy. I need the city. Jacob said we could move to Fort Wayne when he got back from basic. Too bad it's not now. I think it's what I need.

XoXo