In love with Indianapolis, Tattoos, Metallica, Lamb of God

I've been so drowsy lately. Only on days that I work. Today was the worst, but it seems like no matter how much sleep I get I can't get started in the morning. I get 7 hours of sleep every night. EVERY night. I go to bed some time between midnight and 1. I wake up between 7 and 8. Besides me waking up at 3 every night (which I've done since I can remember) I get solid sleep. I don't know why I can't function just because of me getting up at 7:30 instead of 9:30. I even usually got LESS sleep when I was working at 9:30, so why can't I snap out of the tiredness. Even Brad commented on how slow I was going today (not just work-quality. My response time is longer when we're talking, I'm not processing things right anymore.) I don't have the problem on the weekends, when I stay up til 3 and get up anywhere from 7-11. I'm hyped and energized. The only factor is that I'm going to bed sooner and getting up at an earlier time. After a month you'd think I'd have gotten used to it. My internal clock is a stubborn bitch.

Well, I got my tattoo Friday. LOVED Indy, as I always do. I miss the city already. I love the city.

Anyway, here are a few of my pictures from Indy (including Metallica, Lamb of God, my hotel room, and various places in Indy)















So it took the better part of an hour to upload all of those. I hate mass photo uploads. Especially after doing an even bigger mass photo upload for my Facebook. Anyway. The hotel was fucking beautiful, top to bottom. So much care for detail. We even got one of the few end rooms, which has a long wall that goes to a corner at the window. If you know anything about me and rooms, you know I love unique room shapes. Like how I love this room because the ceiling goes at slight angles instead of being flat, and the bedroom in the basement has 8 walls instead of 4, giving it more shape. The colors for the hotel were even beautiful and looked older, like the kinda fit the date that the building was made (in some places, in others it was very modern.) The continental breakfast was phenominal too. And there was a chef standing and asking everyone if there's anything else they want, and if they're enjoying the meal. He offered to make a guy some eggs because there weren't any included. They even treated all of us Metallica-concert-goers as well as the people who looked like they were there on business. Yeah, if you're ever in downtown Indianapolis, stay at the Hampton Inn across from the mall. It's a bit pricey, but it's 100% worth it.

The concert... I hid my Mace on my shoe, because I'm pretty sure we shouldn't have it. I was a bit nervous when they patted me down, because they did the legs too, and if they'd have gone an inch lower on the front of my leg I bet they'd have felt it. But I don't even like being in Decatur without mace. I keep in on my purse now instead of my lanyard though, because I've been letting Brandon carry the lanyard (It ruins some nice outfits) and that makes the mace useless. Anyway. We didn't make it in time for the first band. I wasn't feeling good, so we waited until the Tylenol kicked in. We were on the floor, so we were smashed in front of the stage (it was a small space, but so much closer than the seating) and got to see all of the Lamb of God set. It was bad ass. But fuck, Metallica was AWESOME. Not just them and their music, the lasors, the lights, the moving coffin light fixures and the colored fire. It was the full "we're famous as hell and know how to give a show" concert. I got a guitar (maybe bass) pick. Brandon got one from Lamb of God AND Metallica. :)

I still think the Offspring concert was better, but I knew 90% of the songs the Offspring sang word for word. I couldn't even sing along to most of Metallica. I knew some, a lot were familiar, but not word-for-word familiar. Still. Fucking awesome.

Then, of course. My love of Indy. I could have wondered around that place for hours. Easily. Gotten lost and enjoyed every second of taking in my surroundings. Indy just gives me such an at-home comforting feeling. Being around quite a few people but never too many. Getting the big city feeling without the same fear (in Downtown Inianapolis of course. It does have it's bad side, and it scares the shit out of me) of a place like Chicago. Although, I think I've only ever been on the bad side of Chicago. I was young I don't totally remember but the place looked dirty everywhere. Buuuut. yes. I'm in love. With Indianapolis. I miss it so much.

Our tattoos were done by John Chandler of Steel Rod Tattoo. The red spots on Brandon's Hello Kitty's foot and face are HIS blood, not the tattooed blood. Now that it's more healed it's just nice zombie green. Both were about $150.

X0X0

Getting Ink

A lot of things have happened in the past few days. None of which that I feel like spewing across the internet to strangers.

I don't know what to make of anything anymore. I'll get over it.

Halloween USA opened today. I'm going up tomorrow, but I don't have any money. They accidentally sent our paychecks to fucking Ohio, so we won't be getting them til Thursday, instead of tomorrow when I need it. I'm already psyched about Halloween though. I forgot how much I fucking love this holiday.

I'm also going to go see Metallica in Indy in about a month with Brandon. Hopefully I get to see Michelle a little this time.

I've finally decided to take the plunge and get a visible tattoo. I'm scared, but excited at the same time. I'm getting the symbol Leeloo from The Fifth Element has on her wrist. I've seen some people get them, like this, and ones that simply use lines instead of dots...

but I want it to be exact. Same colors, same everything. Like This, from the movie:
The Fifth Element is one of 3 movies that I think are a part of who I am (the other two being Tank Girl and Labyrinth). The movies I only saw once or twice (or not even all of until recently) when I was young but I like them enough to think about them a lot, and wonder what they're called (It took me years to figure out about Tank Girl, I've been dying to see it ever since I saw part of it late one night) and want to watch them over and over, and eventually, years later I still like them and associate myself with them more than ever.

Tank Girl was my first 'punk girl' movie, the first time I saw such a strange, strong and unique chick. It was futuristic, but not cyber. She had her head shaved in places and had a pretty bad attitude. I only saw pieces of it when I was up late on a school night, trying not to fall asleep, but I'd been trying to figure out what the movie was for years and years and only happened to come across it somehow on the interent and finally, just this year, I got to watch it all. I fucking loved it.

Labyrinth... David Bowie. I believe that despite any other thing I may have said, David Bowie in that movie my first ever crush. The first villain that I liked more than the main character. The first time I really got into a fairy tail or the over the top glamorous outfits and masks and fantasy. I still remember seeing the movie in Wal-Mart and freaking out because I remembered it from my childhood but hadn't seen it since I was really young.

And then there's The Fifth Element. I think it was the first Cyber- futuristic movie I've ever seen, and I don't know why the fuck they don't make more of them . I love everything about those movies from the bright colors, unique clothing with stratigicly cut holes and so on. Bright unnatural hair colors, and a strong ties to things that were predicted in the past. I'm not remembering what they're called. Fuck me.

Anyway, I'm getting ink for all of those, starting with The Fifth Element. Maybe getting a maze tattoo for Labyrinth. I'm not sure what I'll do for Tank Girl, but I'll figure something bad ass out, even if it's only her comic book character.

Thinking of getting tattoos makes me feel a hell of a lot better...

XoXo

stand still

I feel kind of blank right now. Things are still building up and not getting taken care of, but there's nothing I can do quite yet.

My check past $200. It'll be the last time I make that much money in a LONG time. I still have bills and need tires and still haven't had my doctors appointment made because my mom seems to refuse to help me out even though I'M IN PAIN and I keep missing work because of it.

I'm 19 though. I need to take care of things myself I guess. Grow up a little. I hate the phone, I hate phone calls. I'd much rather e-mail the doctor to make an appointment. I'll have to fill out pages and pages of paper work, because I've only been to the doctor once since I was 9, and it wasn't for a check-up, just a referral to a surgeon to remove the cyst that was on my face. I hate doctors offices. I'm more scared to go to the doctor alone than I was when I went up to get my first tattoo ALONE.

Maybe if I wait a few month Brandon will go with me. I can't go alone. What if something is really wrong with me? I'd probably have a big emotional breakdown right there in the office and no one will be there to comfort me.



but nothing matters right now. Nothing is going on and I have nothing to do that I can actually do right now.

I need to pack my stuff.

I need more boxes.