The Future and what it holds

I just used an excel spread sheet for the first time since middle school when we learned how to do it. It's still just that easy. I figured it out in 5 seconds.

I also now know that after taxes (which is aprox 1-2 dollars less per hour than what you make) I need about $10 per hour (11-12 BEFORE taxes) if i want to be able to live my lavish 1 bedroom 3 rivers vanderbilt-floor plan huge windowed view-of-the-city apartment dream. Leaving me with $370 after my bills and gas, but not including food. I applied for a job that will get me $13 an hour after taxes, and that would almost leave me with $1000 every month after all the bills. I still won't get my hopes up, but I really want that job. Not just the pay, I want to learn to do more things. I want to have SOME skills. Even forklift driving is a pretty great skill to have.

My boss told me today that evaluations are in 2 weeks, meaning possible raises in two weeks. I think the best I could hope for from them is $8 an hour. I KNOW I deserve better, I've dedicated a good part of my time and life to that store. But that's what I'll get. So about $7 after taxes. Not enough for anything after bills. I'd starve. I could downgrade my living, which would get me $200 extra a month, but what can I save, then? Saving is IMPORTANT.

Sadly, if I don't get the jobs I've been looking at, I'll have to get a second one in addition to school. I don't think I can handle it and my grades will reflect the hours a week I'll be working.

I'm stressed. I'm tired. I'm feeling terrible about myself. I'm going to try to dig myself out. Wish me luck :)

XoXo,

S